FW: If Microsoft were HQ'd in Georgia
- To: pumpkins@mallorn.com
- Subject: FW: If Microsoft were HQ'd in Georgia
- From: M* N* <M*@optiosoftware.com>
- Date: Thu, 15 Jan 1998 11:19:15 -0500
See what I have to put up with?!
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Chuck Carey
> Sent: Thursday, January 15, 1998 11:16 AM
> To: #All Employees of Optio
> Subject: If Microsoft were HQ'd in Georgia
>
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> How things would be different if Microsoft were located in Georgia!
>
> 1. Their no. 1 product would be "Microsoft Winders."
> 2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle.
> 3. Occasionally, you'd bring up a window that was covered with a
> Hefty
> bag and some duct tape.
> 4. Instead of "Yes", "No", or "Cancel", dialog boxes would give you
> the
> choice of "Aww-right", "Naw", or "Git".
> 5. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be "Dueling Banjos".
> 6. The "recycle bin" in Winders95 would be an outhouse.
> 7. Whenever you pulled up the sound player, you'd hear "Freebird!"
> 8. Instead of "Start me up", the Winders95 theme song would be "Boot
> Scootin' Boogie."
> 9. Powerpoint would be named "Parpawnt".
> 10. Instead of "VP", Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz."
> 11. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am.
> 12. Daisy Duke screen saver.
> 13. "Well, the first thing you know old Bill's a billionaire..."
> 14. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator.
> 15. Microsoft CEO "Billy-Bob" (a.k.a. "Bubba") Gates.
> 16. "Parpawnt" would have a "Pond Scum" and a "Junk Yard" presentation
> template.
> 17. One wrong turn while surfing the web would send you face to face
> with a 12 gauge shotgun.
> 18. "This computer protected by Smith and Wesson screen saver.
> 19. Directions to Corporate Headquarters - "Down the road a block or
> so."
> 20. Microsoft Word includes a phonetic spell checher - "Hookt on
> fonics
> werkt 4 me."
>
>
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