Oregon Update?

Once again time has come to be in abundance, therefor a time honored tradition
of The Infamous, but always funny and semi entertaining, Oregon Update will
present itself upon the screens of your computers while you , like me, dream
of planting time to arrive and try out those new seeds that have been
scratching at their seed containers for the past few months.
And here we go....
Site #13...  Ever wonder why there sometimes is not a floor 13 in major
hotels, well now you know.  Future home to the #225 Splitcrak, a seed of no
small water in the pumpkin growing world.  This site still needs carpet,
furniture and public utilities removed and topsoil brought in.  Advanced
emergency sprinkler system already installed.
Site #214 (county ditch)...  Home to the ever impressive, but not well known
#431 Carlson.  In all seriousness I shouldn't mention this seed here because
it is a nice cross with some good genetics behind it and I will plant it in my
test garden, but The Carlsons spurred this idea for a humorous post.   
Site #CB4...  Hanabal Lector was generous enough to donate 500 square feet of
his maximum security cell to my cause.  I fear his overusage of bloodmeal
could be a hinderance to plant growth, but luckily for me, I have obtained the
#613 Nesforatu.  This seed has a unique characteristic of draining nutrients
from its surroundings through thorn-like tendril ends.  
Site #666(prime real estate, 7th layer of hell)... Negotiations with red man
himself proved fruitful.  The song written about his trip to the Canby
Weighoff were enough to land 200,000 square feet in an area which could prove
to be a little to warm for pumpkins.  Through trade however I was able to get
my hands on a #999 Hitler.  I figured that the home court advantage would be
enough to get a pumpkin out of it.
Site #1400 SW 4th Street( US Bank Tower)...  The soil on the roof is very
rich.  This home to the #1332 Trump (UOW) will prove to be interesting and
hopefully profitable.  Not much has been said about the #1332 due to his ex-
wife taking half when she left.
Site #12,567-#13,245 (Ceasars Palace, Las Vegas), Home to the seeds from the
#777 Luckybutt.  I received these seeds by pulling a lever.
Sites #1,000,000-#1,191,960,946,289 (The Moon)  We have rented for the 1999
season, none other than the moon.  We calculated the surface area of the moon
in square feet (2979899865723687, or 2 quadrillion, 979 trillion, 899 billion,
865 million, 723 thousand, 687) and gave each plant a 50 X 50 foot growing
area.  We are still looking for seed donations to help fill these sites,
unless we plant a #627.5 Hester in which case the area would be covered in
just three seeds. This was actually calculated out.
There are more sites out there waiting to be planted, so lets hear about them.
Love ya'all,
The Pumpkinguru on a stormy night. 
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