Jack-Be-Little growers

How good of a Jack-Be-Little grower are you?

Well since size is not the factor in growing Jack-Be-Little pumpkins,
that it is in growing Atlantic Giants (AG), I have come up with other
defining criteria. But first with AG size is the only factor, shape,
color (so long as it is not green and is somewhat cream, yellow or
orangish), texture and any thing else you can think of doesn't matter.
So when going to the other end of the scale it must be that those things
that don't matter to a AG grower must matter to a Jack-Be-Little grower.
Plus the smaller the better.  So with that in mine here is my proposed
"How good of a Jack-Be-Little grower are you?" scale.   

For Jack-Be-Little pumpkin one of the  first criteria must be the number
of pumpkins per plant.  Since I have no idea how many they really
produce you guys will just have to report to us for us to get an idea.
But here is my guess.

Number of pumpkins per plant:
0:  ouch !  that even hurts to think about.  That hurts worse than
admitting that you once owned a Yugo !
1-2:  bad - You probably have more kids than pumpkins !  what did you do
grow the thing in you tomato planter box on your deck? did you ever
water it?
3-4: better- but still pretty bad.  must be a rookie or you were
momentarily confused, thought you were growing AG's, and one day went to
the patch and saw 4 set fruit and cut off all the other females and then
cut off the ends of vines too and buried the ends. 
5-6: OK- average grower-  but easily achieved by many first year
Jack-Be-Little growers.  People in this group generally have more
pumpkins than kids. 
7-8:  no longer a just a "anybody" grower.  Going for the real small
ones now !  People asking you those hard to answer questions like: How
do you under and over fertilize at the same time to keep the plant
growth up but pumpkin growth to a minimum?, Do Jack-Be-Littles ever
implode do to slow growth?, and  How do you carve these things? How do
you start early under a shelter? 
9-10: Great grower !  must have been doing this for several years to get
this good.  Quit growing lots of plants in the farmers field and moved
to one plant at a guarded small patch in the city on your aunts 20th
story balcony.  Also knows the secrets like:  which seeds have the
genetic that produce twining in vines and hoarding those seeds.  How to
keep bees with pollen from those ugly big pumpkins (over 1 pound) from
getting in your females.
10-12:  A real light weight ! people all over the world know you name
and hope to get seeds from you.  Seeds with a name like "Anderson 6 oz.
8 grams". You know how to shape plant growth into the expert figure
eight pattern with all but one pumpkins equally spaced around the
outside curves of the 8- and the one record small prize winning pumpkin
on a tertiary vine off a carefully guided secondary vine in the center
of one of the 8's, but don't try it inside both. 
12+: a real little league pro!  But at this stage if you still have more
kids than pumpkins,  I suggest you spend more time in the garden. 

And Finally:
You are the Queen ( or King ) of the Jack-Be-Little growers if your
pumpkin is the smallest ever grown and is also symmetric when looking at
it from the top, bottom and all sides, perfectly shaped with not to deep
or not to shallow equal sized groves, has a wonderfully bright orange
color, not a single blemish on it and has the smoothness of a babes
bottom.  Now if you could just win thousands of dollars for growing that
little perfect pumpkin. - life just isn't fair ! 

Gordon Tanner
Maple Valley, WA
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