How not to move a pumpkin !

List,
Today I learned how NOT to move a
pumpkin........
This morning I decided to remove the last
pumpkin in the patch and sell it. It only weighed
200 pounds so I figured I could move it by
myself (across 30 feet of garden, 30 feet of
lawn and 40 feet of patio to the truck out front).
It would have been easy to call some of the
local Napa growers......Pete, Loren or Greg and
ask them to bring a tarp and help me.
But did I do this ??.............Nooooooo !

First I slid my 200 pound baby on to a piece of
cardboard to protect it, (that was easy enough).
Then I asked my wife Paula to slip a 2' x 3' piece of plywood under the
cardboard and
pumpkin when I tilted it up on its side........on
the count of 3.......up I tilted, under went the
plywood, down came the pumpkin.....on my left
foot.....three crunched toes, nothing broken, only a slight limp (I
lucked out).
Its not centered on the plywood (sled) says
Paula.....o.k., once again on 3.....I tilt it up,
she centers the plywood and down the stupid
pumpkin comes......this time my right foot gets
it.......three more crunched toes, nothing serious
......now I am limping on both feet.
I can handle the pain so I tie a rope to the "sled"
and I start draging the ugly gord thru the garden
soil.  Paula says "let me help you pull it dear".
I say yes....(another mistake)........we tugged and pulled and dragged
the lousy cucurbit about 10 feet when the sled popped out.....we
went from pulling 200 pounds to pulling zero
pounds instantly.......this sudden loss of weight
sent us flying thru the air.  Paula landed in a
soft dusty spot in the garden.  I wasn't as
fortunate......I landed in a 4 foot high tansy bush
that borders the patch.
As I lay sprawled out in the tansy, a very dusty
Paula walked over to me and gave me one of 
those looks......you know, "THE LOOK" !!
Needless to say, no more help from her.

I took my time and I managed to drag that
crummy pumpkin out front to the truck.
We are laughng about it now....even though
I have 6 crunched toes, scratches from the
tansy bush, rope burns on both hands, grass
stains on my knees and a sore back.

Seriously gang, get help when moving pumpkins over 100 pounds. We were
lucky
we didn't get hurt.
George Webster
Napa, Ca
PumpkinDude@webtv.net

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