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potato torture

     Well, I had my first potato related accident today.  
While I was slicing a potato, it bit me!   That's right, it bit me! 
Right on the finger.  No, it wasn't a slip of the knife,  honest.  Would
I tell you a story that wasn't true?
     Anyway, now I'm mad.  I'll teach those little tubers a thing or two.
 (Don't forget who I am related to.)  
     I went out and put down a 4 ft by 8ft piece of weed stop landscape
fabric, right outside of my garden.  I covered it with a thin layer of
soil.  I then chopped up a bunch of rogue potatoes.  (I first removed
their tiny little black leather jackets),   Boy, did that feel good, even
though another one bit me!  I pretended to plant them on the soil. 
Potatoes are really stupid, but I had to put down the thin layer of soil
first to fool them, remember, potatoes have eyes.  
     I then covered each of them with a little soil, just enough to fool
them into thinking they were planted properly.  Then I covered the whole
area with straw.  Boy, will they be surprised when they start to grow! 
That will fix them!
And when they just start to get their leaves a few inches above the
straw, I will bury them again with straw.  
     Well, I"m off now to finish the pyramids.  

     Stan, the cheap and lazy gardener

P.S.  It is not politically incorrect to do this to potatoes.  Beef, yes,
but not potatoes.  Even all of you have probably played with a Mr. Potato
Head sometime in the past.  (Maybe not so far in the past for some of
you)  If potatoes can put up with that humiliation, they can certainly
put up with me.
P.P.S.  How should I pretend to fertilize this setup?

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