The Great Parsnip Robbery
- Subject: [cg] The Great Parsnip Robbery
- From: Adam36055@aol.com
- Date: Mon, 10 Apr 2006 21:02:53 EDT
Another case for the , "you can't make this &#@! up," file.
200 POUNDS OF PARSNIPS STOLEN
ANNALS OF IMPROBABLE RESEARCH - Parsnips have special appeal to
philosophers, especially in Concord, Massachusetts, home to the
transcendental philosophers Emerson and Thoreau. The April 6, 2006
issue of the Concord Journal reports a philosophically vexing parsnip
theft: "On Friday, March 31, farmers from Gaining Ground, a nonprofit
organic farming collective in town reported that approximately 200
pounds of parsnips had been dug up and hauled off. 'To take every one
of them and without asking, we were more than a little heartbroken,'
said Verena Wieloch, farm coordinator at Gaining Ground, which has a
9-acre farm on Virginia Road. 'If someone would just fess up it would be OK.'
CBS - The quantity and the methodic way in which the carrot-like
vegetables were dug up, led farmers to believe this was not the work
of any creatures. "I wasn't even angry. I wasn't disappointed, just
absolutely shocked," said Verena Wieloch of Gaining Ground. The nine
acres of farmland are dotted with grasses and shoots and leaves. So
whoever found and dug up the parsnips had to really know what they
were looking for. Only tiny greens were visible through the soil. . .
Concord police Lt. Paul Macone said no arrests had been made, but that
the matter was still under investigation.
AIR - Parsnips are especially beloved by philosophers because they
became the weaponry in one of philosophy's mildly epic battles. This
was a two-parter, waged in print:
"Linguistical Butter and Philosophical Parsnips," N.L. Wilson, Journal
of Philosophy, vol. 64, no. 2, Feb. 2, 1967, pp. 55-67.
"Unpalatable Recipes for Buttering Parsnips," Jerrold J. Katz, Journal
of Philosophy, vol. 65, no. 2, Jan. 25, 1968, pp. 29-45.
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