Fwd: Yard Work - As Viewed From Heaven

Cathy, west central IL, z5b

This is good for a smile!
>
>
> YARD WORK - AS VIEWED FROM HEAVEN
>
> (overheard in a conversation between God and St. Francis):
>
>
>
> God: Francis, you know all about gardens and nature; what in the
>
> world is going on down there in the U.S.?  What happened to the
>
> dandelions, violets, thistles and the stuff I started eons ago?  I  
> had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan.  Those plants grow in any  
> type of soil, withstand drought, and multiply with abandon.  The  
> nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies,  
> honeybees, and flocks of songbirds.  I expected to see a vast  
> garden of color by now.  All I see are patches of green.
>
>
> St. Francis: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord.  They are
>
> called the Suburbanites.  They started calling your flowers "weeds"  
> and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
>
>
> God: Grass?  But it is so boring, it's not colorful.  It doesn't
>
> attract butterflies, bees or birds, only grubs and sod worms.  It's  
> temperamental with temperatures.  Do these Suburbanites
>
> really want grass growing there?
>
>
> St. Francis: Apparently not, Lord.  As soon as it has grown a  
> little, they cut it....sometimes two times a week.
>
>
> God: They cut it?  Do they bale it like hay?
>
>
> St. Francis: Not exactly, Lord.  Most of them rake it up and put
>
> it in bags.
>
>
> God: They bag it?  Why?  Is it a cash crop?  Do they sell it?
>
>
> St. Francis: No sir, just the opposite.  They pay to throw it away.
>
>
> God: Now let me get this straight...they fertilize it to make it  
> grow and when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it
>
> away?
>
>
> St. Francis: Yes, sir.
>
>
> God: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we
>
> cut back on the rain and turn up the heat.  That surely slows the  
> growth and saves them a lot of work.
>
>
> St. Francis: You aren't going to believe this Lord, but when the
>
> grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more
>
> money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get
>
> rid of it.
>
>
> God: What nonsense!  At least they kept some of the trees.  That
>
> was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself.  The trees  
> grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the  
> summer.  In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural  
> blanket to keep the moisture in the soil and protect the trees and  
> bushes.  Plus, as they rot, the leaves become compost to enhance  
> the soil.  It's a natural circle of life.
>
>
> St. Francis: You'd better sit down, Lord.  As soon as the leaves
>
> fall, the Suburbanites rake them into great piles and pay to have
>
> them hauled away.
>
>
> God: No way!  What do they do to protect the shrubs and tree
>
> roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?
>
>
> St Francis: After throwing the leaves away, they go out and buy
>
> something called mulch.  They haul it home and spread it around
>
> in place of the leaves.
>
>
> God: And where do they get this mulch?
>
>
> St. Francis: They cut down the trees and grind them up to make
>
> mulch.
>
>
> God: Enough!  I don't want to think about this anymore.
>
> Saint Catherine, you're in charge of the arts.  What movie have
>
> you scheduled for us tonight?
>
>
> St. Catherine: "Dumb and Dumber," Lord.  It's a really stupid
>
> movie about....
>
>
> God: Never mind--I think I just heard the whole story from Saint
>
> Francis!
>
>
>
> --- Pat Steinkamp
> --- psteinkamp@earthlink.net
> --- EarthLink: It's your Internet.

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