Re: life IS good
JR: I think we must have been living the same lives in parallel universes or something...I have 5 brothers (1 dead) and 1 sister and none of them are people I freely choose to associate with...My father was a violently abusive alcoholic and all 6 of my siblings chose to follow him down the road of alcoholism and drug addiction and all the consequent negative energy that brought into their lives. I see my family for one reason only: out of love and respect for my mother and only for as long as I can sanely tolerate it...the choices they have all made for their lives are not choices I could live with and be spiritually and emotionally healthy...Even with my mother, I must choose to remember always that she makes choices that serve her needs and though they are really bad choices many times, they are hers to make. I left home forever the day after I graduated high school and never went back except when it was unavoidable...even then, there came a point where I eventually told my family of origin that their problems were theirs and I didn't want to get involved. To people whose lives have been blessed to never have known these kinds of maladaptive, abusive family relationships, this might seem cold and extremely harsh. For me, it was the ONLY thing that saved me from a life of misery like the kind I grew up in. I went to college on full tuition scholarships, worked 3-4 part time jobs every semester to pay the rent and so I could eat and I have crafted for myself the life I always dreamed of having. It is not a perfect life, but it is a completely sane and safe one. Of this one thing I will always be most proud...for my children, the cycle of abuse that transmits itself intergenerationally has been stopped...and I can leave this world someday being joyful in that one thing alone...
Melody, IA (Z 5/4)
"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious."
--Albert Einstein --- On Sun 12/15, Jesse Bell wrote:From: Jesse Bell [mailto: firstname.lastname@example.org]To: email@example.comDate: Sun, 15 Dec 2002 20:54:09 -0600Subject: Re: [CHAT] life IS goodLinda...I don't think I could have said it any better. I come from a big family...and I'm not close to a single one of them. As I tell Pam...I am an alien...born into a family that is nothing like me. I do not fit in..will never fit in...do not WANT to fit it. My father is a racist, bigot, my mother lets him run all over her and her children (including abuse), my siblings are all "out there" dwelling on the past or refusing to move forward in their lives (therapy for 20 years). I say get over it, move on with your life, adopt your own family (as Pam says..."friends are family you choose for yourself")...well, the family I have chosen is outstanding. I am respectful of my family and will be there if they need me...but they are not folks I would choose to hang out with. And ya know what...if it weren't for my family being the way they are...I would have never picked up my bed and bags and moved on. I would not have grown in a spiritual way. So, for that...I thank my family....because I like who I have become.Jesse Rene' BellClaremore, OKZone 6>From: "Linda" >Reply-To: firstname.lastname@example.org>To: >Subject: Re: [CHAT] life IS good>Date: Sun, 15 Dec 2002 09:43:06 -0700>>Ceres wrote:>> I> > >believe as you age you may miss not having a family.>>Families come in all shapes and sizes. Some are warm and supportive, some>are mildly abusive, some are cruel and destructive, some are just not >close,>and some people simply do not have living relatives. Not sure I understand>why someone should miss family in the less pleasant categories, or why the>aging process should be made to appear more scary to someone who has no>family.>>Linda in Wyoming>_________________________________________________________________Help STOP SPAM with the new MSN 8 and get 2 months FREE* http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail---------------
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