Re: life IS good

Breaking the cycle....sounds easy, but notice you're the only one who
succeeded.  Congratulations.
on 12/19/2002 4:51 AM, Melody at mhobertm@excite.com wrote:

> JR:  I think we must have been living the same lives in parallel universes or
> something...I have 5 brothers (1 dead) and 1 sister and none of them are
> people I freely choose to associate with...My father was a violently abusive
> alcoholic and all 6 of my siblings chose to follow him down the road of
> alcoholism and drug addiction and all the consequent negative energy that
> brought into their lives.  I see my family for one reason only:  out of love
> and respect for my mother and only for as long as I can sanely tolerate
> it...the choices they have all made for their lives are not choices I could
> live with and be spiritually and emotionally healthy...Even with my mother, I
> must choose to remember always that she makes choices that serve her needs and
> though they are really bad choices many times, they are hers to make.  I left
> home forever the day after I graduated high school and never went back except
> when it was unavoidable...even then, there came a point where I eventually t!
> old my family of origin that their problems were theirs and I didn't want to
> get involved.  To people whose lives have been blessed to never have known
> these kinds of maladaptive, abusive family relationships, this might seem cold
> and extremely harsh.  For me, it was the ONLY thing that saved me from a life
> of misery like the kind I grew up in.  I went to college on full tuition
> scholarships, worked 3-4 part time jobs every semester to pay the rent and so
> I could eat and I have crafted for myself the life I always dreamed of having.
> It is not a perfect life, but it is a completely sane and safe one.  Of this
> one thing I will always be most proud...for my children, the cycle of abuse
> that transmits itself intergenerationally has been stopped...and I can leave
> this world someday being joyful in that one thing alone...
> 
> 
> Melody, IA (Z 5/4)
> 
> "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious."
> --Albert Einstein --- On Sun 12/15, Jesse Bell  wrote:From: Jesse Bell
> [mailto: jesserenebell@hotmail.com]To: gardenchat@hort.netDate: Sun, 15 Dec
> 2002 20:54:09 -0600Subject: Re: [CHAT] life IS goodLinda...I don't think I
> could have said it any better.  I come from a big family...and I'm not close
> to a single one of them.  As I tell Pam...I am an alien...born into a family
> that is nothing like me.  I do not fit in..will never fit in...do not WANT to
> fit it.  My father is a racist, bigot, my mother lets him run all over her and
> her children (including abuse), my siblings are all "out there" dwelling on
> the past or refusing to move forward in their lives (therapy for 20 years).  I
> say get over it, move on with your life, adopt your own family (as Pam
> says..."friends are family you choose for yourself")...well, the family I have
> chosen is outstanding.  I am respectful of my family and will be there if they
> need me...but they are not folks I would choose to hang out with.  And y!
> a know what...if it weren't for my family being the way they are...I would
> have never picked up my bed and bags and moved on.  I would not have grown in
> a spiritual way.  So, for that...I thank my family....because I like who I
> have become.Jesse Rene' BellClaremore, OKZone 6>From: "Linda" >Reply-To:
> gardenchat@hort.net>To: >Subject: Re: [CHAT] life IS good>Date: Sun, 15 Dec
> 2002 09:43:06 -0700>>Ceres wrote:>>   I> > >believe as you age you may miss
> not having a family.>>Families come in all shapes and sizes.  Some are warm
> and supportive, some>are mildly abusive, some are cruel and destructive, some
> are just not >close,>and some people simply do not have living relatives.  Not
> sure I understand>why someone should miss family in the less pleasant
> categories, or why the>aging process should be made to appear more scary to
> someone who has no>family.>>Linda in
> Wyoming>_________________________________________________________________Help
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