RE: OT DOES E-MAIL ESCALATE CONFLICT?

I've noticed that volatile, unstable, unhappy people will generate conflict wherever they are, on-line, work, grocery store and, God forbid, the highway.  Sensible, stable, happy people serve to smooth the waters, not churn them up.  Avoiding negative and poisonous people is a good way to simplify your life and make it infinitely more enjoyable!!  I'm w/ you Kitty - block 'em!!

:-D 

---------- Original Message ----------------------------------
From: "Kitty Morrissy" <kmrsy@earthlink.net>
Reply-To: gardenchat@hort.net
Date:  Sat, 28 Dec 2002 10:18:18 -0500

>bonnie -
>(writing one handed so as not to wake the cat sleeping on my other arm)
>i think a lot depends on how each person handles conflict to begin with. 
>in person i avoid it for the most part, but online, i will address an issue
>i feel is important.  i think if the parties involvrd are sensible and
>willing to discuss a topic, they can come to an understanding or at least
>respect the other person's position.  we've had a few topics here that have
>either swayed opposition to a small degree or ended with agreeing to
>disagree.  i don't see that as a problem.  there's a healthy exchange of
>ideas whether or not agreement is reached.  when we were still on ahs, we
>had one subscriber who was ejected because she was a screaming nutcase.  no
>flow of ideas would have worked with her.  but the rest of us seem to
>appreciate the exchange whether we agree or not.
>
>of course this list is gardening.  it's expected to have less conflict than
>other types of lists.  your post didn't limit itself to lists - it was
>email in general.  A few years ago i received some nasty messages from a
>fellow mg .  conflict was running high.  she was obviously on some control
>trip and i didn't like it and i knew there was no chance of her seeing any
>view but her own.  so i just blocked her address.  i don't need that sort
>of volatility in my life.
>
>kitty
>
>
>> [Original Message]
>> From: Bonnie M. Holmes <holmesbm@usit.net>
>> To: <gardenchat@hort.net>
>> Date: 12/28/2002 8:44:28 AM
>> Subject: [CHAT] OT DOES E-MAIL ESCALATE CONFLICT?
>>
>> Since we previously have had discussion about email etiquette, I thought 
>> the group might find this article interesting.
>>
>>
>> >DOES E-MAIL ESCALATE CONFLICT?
>> >According to the authors of a recent paper, using e-mail to resolve 
>> >conflicts carries a major risk: that disputes will escalate to 
>> >irresolvable levels and even damage senders' and receivers'
>relationships. 
>> >In the paper "E-Mail Escalation: Dispute Exacerbating Elements of 
>> >Electronic Communication," the authors suggest ways to keep conflicts
>from 
>> >arising.
>> >
>> >The authors contrast the properties of face-to-face communication with 
>> >those of electronic communication. Specifically, e-mail exchanges take 
>> >place in an antisocial context (participants are isolated at their 
>> >computers), allow new tactics (such as lengthy messages or
>communications 
>> >that bundle multiple arguments together) and are characterized by 
>> >reviewability and revisability (communicators are able to reread
>received 
>> >messages and extensively shape their responses).
>> >
>> >Though escalation may be more likely during electronic communication,
>say 
>> >the authors, participants can - and should - manage that risk to resolve 
>> >conflicts more productively. To access the complete paper, go to 
>> ><www.mba.vanderbilt.edu/ray.htm>www.mba.vanderbilt.edu/ray.friedman. 
>> >Source: Lauren Keller Johnson, MIT Sloan Management Review, Fall 2002.
>>
>> B
>
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