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Also, what I have noticed in the work environment is that some very quiet, 
shy individuals...who will never utter a peep in an open meeting...will 
write long, explicit emails about a matter dear to them.  It is a 
non-threatening avenue for them.  Some others get rather heated and 
out-of-bounds, seeming to lose whatever judgment or control they would 
normally have around others.  I have been working for a large legal 
department.  This article seemed right on point for some of the electronic 
disputes we have seen.  I didn't mean to imply that anyone on this 
listserve has gotten to that point but did observe that occasionally 
responses have had to be explained and thought that some would enjoy the 

You may be interested in knowing that I got "roasted" for this habit of 
sharing interesting (to me) bits of information.

Bonnie 6+ ETN

At 09:52 AM 12/28/02 -0600, you wrote:
>I've noticed that volatile, unstable, unhappy people will generate 
>conflict wherever they are, on-line, work, grocery store and, God forbid, 
>the highway.  Sensible, stable, happy people serve to smooth the waters, 
>not churn them up.  Avoiding negative and poisonous people is a good way 
>to simplify your life and make it infinitely more enjoyable!!  I'm w/ you 
>Kitty - block 'em!!
>---------- Original Message ----------------------------------
>From: "Kitty Morrissy" <kmrsy@earthlink.net>
>Reply-To: gardenchat@hort.net
>Date:  Sat, 28 Dec 2002 10:18:18 -0500
> >bonnie -
> >(writing one handed so as not to wake the cat sleeping on my other arm)
> >i think a lot depends on how each person handles conflict to begin with.
> >in person i avoid it for the most part, but online, i will address an issue
> >i feel is important.  i think if the parties involvrd are sensible and
> >willing to discuss a topic, they can come to an understanding or at least
> >respect the other person's position.  we've had a few topics here that have
> >either swayed opposition to a small degree or ended with agreeing to
> >disagree.  i don't see that as a problem.  there's a healthy exchange of
> >ideas whether or not agreement is reached.  when we were still on ahs, we
> >had one subscriber who was ejected because she was a screaming nutcase.  no
> >flow of ideas would have worked with her.  but the rest of us seem to
> >appreciate the exchange whether we agree or not.
> >
> >of course this list is gardening.  it's expected to have less conflict than
> >other types of lists.  your post didn't limit itself to lists - it was
> >email in general.  A few years ago i received some nasty messages from a
> >fellow mg .  conflict was running high.  she was obviously on some control
> >trip and i didn't like it and i knew there was no chance of her seeing any
> >view but her own.  so i just blocked her address.  i don't need that sort
> >of volatility in my life.
> >
> >kitty
> >
> >
> >> [Original Message]
> >> From: Bonnie M. Holmes <holmesbm@usit.net>
> >> To: <gardenchat@hort.net>
> >> Date: 12/28/2002 8:44:28 AM
> >>
> >> Since we previously have had discussion about email etiquette, I thought
> >> the group might find this article interesting.
> >>
> >>
> >> >According to the authors of a recent paper, using e-mail to resolve
> >> >conflicts carries a major risk: that disputes will escalate to
> >> >irresolvable levels and even damage senders' and receivers'
> >relationships.
> >> >In the paper "E-Mail Escalation: Dispute Exacerbating Elements of
> >> >Electronic Communication," the authors suggest ways to keep conflicts
> >from
> >> >arising.
> >> >
> >> >The authors contrast the properties of face-to-face communication with
> >> >those of electronic communication. Specifically, e-mail exchanges take
> >> >place in an antisocial context (participants are isolated at their
> >> >computers), allow new tactics (such as lengthy messages or
> >communications
> >> >that bundle multiple arguments together) and are characterized by
> >> >reviewability and revisability (communicators are able to reread
> >received
> >> >messages and extensively shape their responses).
> >> >
> >> >Though escalation may be more likely during electronic communication,
> >say
> >> >the authors, participants can - and should - manage that risk to resolve
> >> >conflicts more productively. To access the complete paper, go to
> >> ><www.mba.vanderbilt.edu/ray.htm>www.mba.vanderbilt.edu/ray.friedman.
> >> >Source: Lauren Keller Johnson, MIT Sloan Management Review, Fall 2002.
> >>
> >> B
> >
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
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