OHMIGOSH. Are people just too stupid or WHAT?? Jogged off a cliff??
On 12/27/05, email@example.com <firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote:
> Brand-new Darwin Awards
> In case you haven't received them yet, here are this year's Darwin Awards
> the annual honor given to the person who improved the "gene pool" the most
> by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. As always,
> competition this year has been keen. And the candidates this year
> * IN Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet
> of water
> after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve
> his car keys.
> * A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he
> accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.
> * Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug
> the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones, 21,
> dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting in
> beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying
> beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach on the outer banks, used their
> hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of
> Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using
> equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on.
> was pronounced dead at a hospital.
> * Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell face-first
> through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was
> when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his
> hands free)
> rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
> * Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26,! was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he won a
> bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four
> bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
> HONORABLE MENTION:
> Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his wife
> Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their
> car. While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and
> to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently failed
> notice the window was closed.
> RUNNER UP:
> * TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one
> of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma
> Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated
> and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM.
> arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had
> brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered
> pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the
> cable was
> secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His
> lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the
> ankle. He
> miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and was rescued by
> two nearby fishermen. "All I can say" said Bingham, "is that God was
> watching out
> for me on that night.There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's
> foot was never
> AND THE WINNER:
> Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderbo rn, Germany) fed his
> constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
> bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally
> let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!
> Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the
> elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him. "The
> sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr.Riesfeldtto
> the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the
> elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him" said
> Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. 'With no one there to help him, he
> under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and
> during that time he suffocated.
> It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves that "Shit
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