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Re: Happy Birthday!

When I was a single mother...and BROKE...my three children new what a budget was...I bought enough groceries for the week...if they ate more than the "allotted" share for school lunches, then they didn't get a juice box or cookies on Friday. They were doing laundry, vacuuming, helping with dishes, mowing and all that. It's that "magical" number....around 15 or 16 where they THINK they are helping you, but not without major attitude and rolling of eyes, and they do a half-assed job and don't "get it" when I tell them to do it again, only BETTER this time. Yours are still young. I'll bet money on it when they get older you'll see that change in them. It's just part of being a teenager. They are also at that age where they push you to the limit. Curfew for the 15 year olds is 11:00 on Friday/Saturday (football games, basketball games, school dances). The other night...they dragged home at almost 1:00 a.m. At 7:00 a.m I had their butts up and said, "if you keep me up till 1:00 worrying, then you get to get up early, feed ALL the animals and help around the house...and there will be NO naps today!" They were in bed that night at 8:30. And grounded. It's just part of raising a houseful of teenagers. I was prepared. When I married DH, his first two children were 15 and 17. It was baptism by fire for me. You're supposed to "gradually grow into the teen years". Well, I didn't get to do that. They were awful. But now...I love being around them.

From: "Melody" <mhobertm@excite.com>
Reply-To: gardenchat@hort.net
To: gardenchat@hort.net
Subject: Re: [CHAT] Happy Birthday!
Date: Sat,  7 Feb 2004 19:32:17 -0500 (EST)

Jesse: Just another tip...you might try the "If I'm cleaning then
everybody is cleaning" routine, too...meaning no one goes anywhere or
does anything, not even talk on the phone, until and unless what needs
to be done around the house gets done...with a group effort. You might
also want to tell your kids that at half their ages, my 3 already know
how to use all the major household appliances (dishwasher, washing
machine, dryer, microwave, vacuum, stove/oven) and use them on a routine
(i.e. daily/weekly) basis...I gave up being a martyr mom a long time
ago, too...course I must admit, that if I want the kids' rooms to be
**really** clean...that's a whole other experience so I've learned to
lower my standards a little when it comes to how the kids clean their
own rooms. Good luck with your strike...and hang in...children and
husbands are capable of learning new tricks!

Melody, IA (Z 5/4)

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious."
--Albert Einstein

 --- On Sat 02/07, Jesse Bell < jesserenebell@hotmail.com > wrote:
From: Jesse Bell [mailto: jesserenebell@hotmail.com]
To: gardenchat@hort.net
Date: Sat, 07 Feb 2004 12:16:57 -0600
Subject: Re: [CHAT] Happy Birthday!

Thanks! And no, you don't sound preachy at all. It's just the truth.
I've <br>hit that point in my life where my family thinks I've gone
insane and <br>&quot;changed&quot;. LOL. Because I've gone on strike.
When they ask &quot;what's for <br>dinner?&quot; I say &quot;I don't
know, what are you fixing?&quot; When my husband can't <br>find clothes
I say &quot;I don't know, ask the laundry fairy what she did with
<br>it&quot;. It dawned on me that I have a house full of teenagers and
a husband <br>who think they can't do anything. The youngest three are
all 15 years old. <br>The other is 17. The oldest two are gone. I work
outside the home. So <br>does my husband. So why should I be the one who
plans dinners, does all the <br>laundry and somehow magically know where
to find things that they have lost? <br> It escapes me. So...about two
weeks ago, I did the &quot;meltdown&quot; thing and <br>gathered the
whole family together and told them that I am not their maid or
<br>housekeeper, I will be taking time to do the things that I want to
do and if <br>that bothers them, TOO BAD! They always seem to find time
to do what they <br>want to do, but I'm the one stuck cleaning the house
and such. NO MORE. I <br>told my husband if he wants a clean and
spotless house, then get after it or <br>hire a housecleaner. I will do
SOME, but not ALL anymore. And I warned <br>them that gardening season
is around the corner and if they need <br>me...they'll know where to
find me...and it WON'T be in the house. I've <br>heard this happens to
women when they hit the menopausal years.....well....I <br>guess it hit
me. I do NOT have to do this anymore. They are all quite <br>capable of
doing it themselves. I am not Saint Jesse the martyr. If they <br>want
something...learn to do it themselves. End of discussion. So, now
<br>they think I've become this grouchy person. OH
well.<br><br><br><br>Jesse Rene' Bell<br>Claremore, OK<br>Zone
6<br><br><br><br><br><br>&gt;From: Aplfgcnys@aol.com<br>&gt;Reply-To:

hort.net<br>&gt;To: gardenchat@hort.net<br>&gt;Subject: Re: [CHAT] Happy
Birthday!<br>&gt;Date: Sat, 7 Feb 2004 12:17:11
EST<br>&gt;<br>&gt;Belated Happy Birthday, Jesse. Here's hoping it was a
good one. Don't <br>&gt;give<br>&gt;up your dreams for your own business
- time passes more quickly than you <br>&gt;would<br>&gt;believe. I do
know that from your perspective, you young women think
your<br>&gt;hectic over-crowded days with a houseful will never end, but
kids do grow <br>&gt;up<br>&gt;eventually (sometimes it takes longer
than you expect) and the days do come <br>&gt;when<br>&gt;you can do
those things you dream about. Just have faith. Forgive me if
I<br>&gt;sound &quot;preachy,&quot; but I've been there.
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