Re: Happy Birthday! now adolescence

Oh you are sure right about that Melody. Especially when the eldest
child is female for some reason. Like a two-legged guinea pig.


---------- Original Message ----------------------------------
From: "Melody" <mhobertm@excite.com>
Reply-To: gardenchat@hort.net
Date:  Wed, 11 Feb 2004 06:31:01 -0500 (EST)

>Jesse: Yeah, we got that attitude/rolling of the eyes thing starting
>with Meg and she's only going to be 12 this summer...she is currently
>enrolled in Melody's crash course on "How to survive your adolescence
>with the meanest mother ever!"...I figure if I start now by telling her
>that she is basically the one who controls how the next few years of her
>life goes dependent on how well she behaves through it, then maybe by
>the time adolescence starts in earnest she will get it...I dunno...I
>think raising kids is mostly experimental in nature so I'm calling
>Meghan as our oldest the experiment child...then we modify our process
>for Mark and Morgan according to how things went with Meg...it seems to
>work. Poor Meg, though...sometimes I really do think the oldest kid gets
>the short end of the stick when it comes to that.
>
>
>
>Melody, IA (Z 5/4)
>
>"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious."    
>--Albert Einstein
>
> --- On Sun 02/08, Jesse Bell < jesserenebell@hotmail.com > wrote:
>From: Jesse Bell [mailto: jesserenebell@hotmail.com]
>To: gardenchat@hort.net
>Date: Sun, 08 Feb 2004 12:42:32 -0600
>Subject: Re: [CHAT] Happy Birthday!
>
>When I was a single mother...and BROKE...my three children new what a
>budget <br>was...I bought enough groceries for the week...if they ate
>more than the <br>"allotted" share for school lunches, then they didn't
>get a juice box or <br>cookies on Friday. They were doing laundry,
>vacuuming, helping with dishes, <br>mowing and all that. It's that
>"magical" number....around 15 or 16 where <br>they THINK they are
>helping you, but not without major attitude and rolling <br>of eyes, and
>they do a half-assed job and don't "get it" when I tell them to <br>do
>it again, only BETTER this time. Yours are still young. I'll bet money
><br>on it when they get older you'll see that change in them. It's just
>part of <br>being a teenager. They are also at that age where they push
>you to the <br>limit. Curfew for the 15 year olds is 11:00 on
>Friday/Saturday (football <br>games, basketball games, school dances).
>The other night...they dragged <br>home at almost 1:00 a.m. At 7:00 a.m
>I had their butts up and said, "if you <br>keep me up till 1:00
>worrying, then you get to get up early, feed ALL the <br>animals and
>help around the house...and there will be NO naps today!" They <br>were
>in bed that night at 8:30. And grounded. It's just part of raising a
><br>houseful of teenagers. I was prepared. When I married DH, his first
>two <br>children were 15 and 17. It was baptism by fire for me. You're
>supposed to <br>"gradually grow into the teen years". Well, I didn't get
>to do that. They <br>were awful. But now...I love being around
>them.<br><br><br><br>>From: "Melody" <mhobertm@excite.com><br>>Reply-To:
>gardenchat@hort.net<br>>To: gardenchat@hort.net<br>>Subject: Re: [CHAT]
>Happy Birthday!<br>>Date: Sat, 7 Feb 2004 19:32:17 -0500
>(EST)<br>><br>>Jesse: Just another tip...you might try the "If I'm
>cleaning then<br>>everybody is cleaning" routine, too...meaning no one
>goes anywhere or<br>>does anything, not even talk on the phone, until
>and unless what needs<br>>to be done around the house gets done...with a
>group effort. Y
>
>ou might<br>>also want to tell your kids that at half their ages, my 3
>already know<br>>how to use all the major household appliances
>(dishwasher, washing<br>>machine, dryer, microwave, vacuum, stove/oven)
>and use them on a routine<br>>(i.e. daily/weekly) basis...I gave up
>being a martyr mom a long time<br>>ago, too...course I must admit, that
>if I want the kids' rooms to be<br>>**really** clean...that's a whole
>other experience so I've learned to<br>>lower my standards a little when
>it comes to how the kids clean their<br>>own rooms. Good luck with your
>strike...and hang in...children and<br>>husbands are capable of learning
>new tricks!<br>><br>><br>>Melody, IA (Z 5/4)<br>><br>>"The most
>beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious."<br>>--Albert
>Einstein<br>><br>> --- On Sat 02/07, Jesse Bell <
>jesserenebell@hotmail.com > wrote:<br>>From: Jesse Bell [mailto:
>jesserenebell@hotmail.com]<br>>To: gardenchat@hort.net<br>>Date: Sat, 07
>Feb 2004 12:16:57 -0600<br>>Subject: Re: [CHAT] Happy
>Birthday!<br>><br>>Thanks! And no, you don't sound preachy at all. It's
>just the truth.<br>>I've <br>hit that point in my life where my family
>thinks I've gone<br>>insane and <br>"changed". LOL. Because
>I've gone on strike.<br>>When they ask "what's for
><br>dinner?" I say "I don't<br>>know, what are you
>fixing?" When my husband can't <br>find clothes<br>>I say "I
>don't know, ask the laundry fairy what she did with<br>><br>it". It
>dawned on me that I have a house full of teenagers and<br>>a husband
><br>who think they can't do anything. The youngest three are<br>>all 15
>years old. <br>The other is 17. The oldest two are gone. I
>work<br>>outside the home. So <br>does my husband. So why should I be
>the one who<br>>plans dinners, does all the <br>laundry and somehow
>magically know where<br>>to find things that they have lost? <br> It
>escapes me. So...about two<br>>weeks ago, I did the "meltdown"
>thing and <br>gathered the<br>>whole family together and told them that
>I am not thei
>
>r 
>maid or<br>><br>housekeeper, I will be taking time to do the things that
>I want to<br>>do and if <br>that bothers them, TOO BAD! They always seem
>to find time<br>>to do what they <br>want to do, but I'm the one stuck
>cleaning the house<br>>and such. NO MORE. I <br>told my husband if he
>wants a clean and<br>>spotless house, then get after it or <br>hire a
>housecleaner. I will do<br>>SOME, but not ALL anymore. And I warned
><br>them that gardening season<br>>is around the corner and if they need
><br>me...they'll know where to<br>>find me...and it WON'T be in the
>house. I've <br>heard this happens to<br>>women when they hit the
>menopausal years.....well....I <br>guess it hit<br>>me. I do NOT have to
>do this anymore. They are all quite <br>capable of<br>>doing it
>themselves. I am not Saint Jesse the martyr. If they
><br>want<br>>something...learn to do it themselves. End of discussion.
>So, now<br>><br>they think I've become this grouchy person.
>OH<br>>well.<br><br><br><br>Jesse Rene' Bell<br>Claremore,
>OK<br>Zone<br>>6<br><br><br><br><br><br>>From:
>Aplfgcnys@aol.com<br>>Reply-To:<br>>gardenchat@<br>><br>>hort.net<br>>To:
>gardenchat@hort.net<br>>Subject: Re: [CHAT]
>Happy<br>>Birthday!<br>>Date: Sat, 7 Feb 2004
>12:17:11<br>>EST<br>><br>>Belated Happy Birthday, Jesse. Here's
>hoping it was a<br>>good one. Don't <br>>give<br>>up your dreams
>for your own business<br>>- time passes more quickly than you
><br>>would<br>>believe. I do<br>>know that from your perspective,
>you young women think<br>>your<br>>hectic over-crowded days with a
>houseful will never end, but<br>>kids do grow
><br>>up<br>>eventually (sometimes it takes longer<br>>than you
>expect) and the days do come <br>>when<br>>you can do<br>>those
>things you dream about. Just have faith. Forgive me
>if<br>>I<br>>sound "preachy," but I've been
>there.<br>>Auralie<br>><br>>---------------------------------------------------------------------<br>>Support<br>>hort.net
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--
Pam Evans
Kemp TX/zone 8A



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