Re: Fwd: Difference between dogs & cats, plus current events
good one Cathy!
On 2/3/06, Cathy Carpenter <email@example.com> wrote:
> I don't usually pass stuff along, but this was pretty funny.
> Cathy, west central IL, z5b
> Begin forwarded message:
> > Subject: The Differences Between Dogs and Cats
> > As the current keeper (I won't say owner) of four cats and the former
> > owner of dogs, I'd say this about hits it on the head....
> > As seen in a dog's diary:
> > * 7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
> > * 8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
> > * 9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
> > * Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
> > * 2 PM - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
> > * 3 PM - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
> > * 4 PM - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
> > * 6 PM - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
> > * 7 PM - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
> > * 8 PM - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
> > * 9 PM - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
> > * 11 PM - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!
> > As seen in a cat's diary:
> > Day 183 of my captivity ... My captors continued to taunt me with
> > bizarre
> > little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I
> > am forced
> > to eat dry cereal.
> > The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
> > satisfaction that
> > I get from clawing their furniture. Tomorrow I will eat another
> > houseplant.
> > Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
> > while they
> > were
> > walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs.
> > In an
> > attempt
> > to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced
> > myself to
> > vomit
> > on their favorite chair. I must remember to try this on their bed.
> > Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an
> > attempt to make
> > them
> > aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their
> > hearts.
> > They
> > only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.
> > Hmmm, that
> > did not
> > work according to plan...
> > There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
> > placed in
> > solitary
> > throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell
> > the food.
> > More
> > important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of
> > inducing
> > "allergies."
> > I must learn what this is and how I may use it to my advantage. I am
> > convinced the
> > other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely
> > released and
> > seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.
> > The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks
> > with them
> > regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current
> > placement
> > in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I have patience, I
> > can wait,
> > it
> > is only a matter of time...
> > Subject: State of the Union/Groundhog Day
> > This year, both Groundhog Day and The State of the Union Address
> > fall on the same day.
> > As Air America Radio point out, "It is an ironic juxtaposition; one
> > involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a creature of little
> > intelligence for prognostication; the other involves a groundhog."
> > Subject: Keep on the up and up
> > I just wanted to let you know that the new Homeland Security Bill
> > has passed again. Things will be different now and Internet surfing
> > will be tracked by what the FBI calls a "non-intrusive method."
> > The FBI says you will not notice anything different. For a free
> > demonstration, click on the link below.
> > Homeland Security
> To sign-off this list, send email to firstname.lastname@example.org with the
> message text UNSUBSCRIBE GARDENCHAT
To sign-off this list, send email to email@example.com with the
message text UNSUBSCRIBE GARDENCHAT
Other Mailing lists |
Author Index |
Date Index |
Subject Index |