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OT Joke

> Subject: Al_gebra Network
> To: undisclosed_recipients:
> Hot off the wires:
> At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be
a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a
> At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious al_gebra network. He is being
charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
> "Al_gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average
solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a
search of absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and
refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a
common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every
country. As the Greek philanderer, Isosceles, used to say, there are 3 sides
to every triangle."
> When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us
more fingers and toes."
> "I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent
on protracting us from these math_dogs who are willing to disintegrate us
with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every
sphere of influence," the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences,
we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line."
> President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the
potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen
unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor_in random
facts of vertex."
>Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read my
ellipse. While I am uncertain of the following, it is clear that, as they
continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens
around their necks."

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