Re: grandkids/societal whiners

Seems to me that the indiscriminate filling of children's "wants" as if
they are "needs" (as in "I need a new Nintendo") leaves them with the
impression that making do is never good enough nowadays...again, what a
sad commentary.



Melody, IA (Z 5/4)

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious."    
--Albert Einstein

 --- On Wed 03/24, james singer < jsinger@igc.org > wrote:
From: james singer [mailto: jsinger@igc.org]
To: gardenchat@hort.net
Date: Wed, 24 Mar 2004 16:49:07 -0500
Subject: Re: [CHAT]  grandkids/societal whiners

I have similar misgivings, Marge. But I've always thought it was
<br>because I grew up in the Great Depression, when the primary
instruction <br>was "make do" not "buy now."<br><br><br>On Tuesday,
March 23, 2004, at 11:55 PM, Marge Talt wrote:<br><br>> Absolutely,
Melody and that's what concerns me about the upcoming<br>> generation.
It appears that parents are not instilling that sense of<br>> personal
responsibility in their children as they ought...at least<br>> around
here.<br>><br>> Longish story, but a couple of years ago, about 4AM, I
was here at<br>> the computer when I heard a huge crash down at the
road. In my robe<br>> and nighty, I ran down to find an SUV upside down
next to our<br>> mailbox. Ran back; called cops; ran back down to road.
Inside of<br>> car was brightly lit, but the windows were steamed up so
I couldn't<br>> see in. Sounds of loud rock music playing and sounds of
banging and<br>> bumping. Kept calling to see if person inside was OK,
but am sure<br>> they couldn't hear me and I didn't want to get too
close to the car<br>> as I wasn't sure it was going to stay where it was
- half up the bank<br>> next to the road on an angle upside
down!<br>><br>> Anyway, the door popped open and out came this teenage
boy...around<br>> maybe 16 years old. Smelled like the bottom of a
whiskey barrel. He<br>> started off weaving, down the middle of the road
and I caught him and<br>> told him he had to stay...he was SO drunk. As
I tried to get him up<br>> our drive, the cops came, so I went to greet
them and he took off<br>> into the shrubbery. He was extracted and I
found next day he'd<br>> discarded his jacket, a backpack and a pack of
tools and thrown a<br>> street sign up in to the rhodies. Called cops
and when they came to<br>> pick up his belongings, I found out that he
was not only drunk but<br>> high on drugs AND had taken the car without
his parent's knowledge.<br>> Not only that, the tools had been used to
remove street signs along<br>> the way he'd been.<br>><br>> Now, what
was his f

ather's reaction? His father was in deep denial<br>> that HIS son could
have done any of the above. Cop told me that<br>> likely nothing would
happen to that child in the way of punishment.<br>><br>> If I had done
something like that, my father would have skinned me<br>> alive. That
knowledge stopped me from doing some really hair-brained<br>> stuff as a
teen. So, what will become of this spoiled brat when he<br>> grows up?
Where will his sense of personal responsibility be? What<br>> will he
have to pass on to his children - should he survive long<br>> enough to
add to the gene pool? Scary stuff. Worst is that this kid<br>> is not
the only one - around here, which is an affluent area, there<br>> are
hundreds of kids just like him...lots of money; not enough to do<br>>
and parents who cannot - will not - see that their precious child<br>>
could be at fault for anything. Lordy!<br>><br>> I am far removed from
young children or teens at this point; know<br>> none, but have been
told by those who have friends with kids that<br>> today, parents are so
set on making sure their kids are 'safe' and<br>> have everything they
want and are 'happy', that they do not<br>> discipline them at all. This
I can believe from my observations at<br>> the grocery store - one of
the few places I come into contact with<br>> today's youth.<br>><br>> I
continually see parents say NO to small children pestering them for<br>>
treats and then watch the parents give in and get the child what
they<br>> want instead of standing firm. Of course the standing firm
takes<br>> more energy than giving in, but.... And, parents let small
children<br>> run wild in the store; something I was not allowed to do
and did not<br>> allow my child to do. I also see this behavior when I
go out to a<br>> restaurant...and I hear about it at the jobs we do (all
of which have<br>> restaurant facilities). Seems parents have forgotten
'what part of<br>> NO didn't you understand?' And, of course, today, if
a parent gives<br>> a kid a well-deserved whack

 o
n the rear end, they can be arrested for<br>> child abuse! IMO, NOT
giving them the whack when their behavior<br>> warrants it is more child
abuse than giving it.<br>><br>> You have to set bounds for kids and make
them stick to them IMO and<br>> they have to learn responsibility as
early in life as they are<br>> capable of understanding it. Passes my
understanding what I see<br>> going on today, but it permeates our life;
not just kids but adults.<br>> I mean, suing McDonalds because you
spilled hot coffee on your lap -<br>> good grief!....and that kind of
thing is in every facet of life<br>> today. Nobody is personally
responsible; always whatever happens is<br>> somebody else's
fault.<br>><br>> Lordy but my old fogyism is showing tonight! :-) end of
rant!!!<br>><br>> Marge Talt, zone 7 Maryland<br>> mtalt@hort.net<br>>
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----------<br>>> From: Melody <mhobertm@excite.com><br>>><br>>> Pam: In
many instances, I think the problem is founded in a lack of<br>>>
personal accountability and responsibility...it's easier to blame<br>>
your<br>>> parents, the government, your boss, etc. than to take<br>>
responsibility for<br>>> the choices you make that put you where you
are. Once one accepts<br>>> responsibility for one's own choices, that
then makes one<br>> accountable<br>>> for the consequences of those
choices. It's easier for many people<br>> to<br>>> whine and complain
than to accept the harder course of doing<br>> something<br>>> to change
their circumstances. True personal courage comes in the<br>> form<br>>>
of being between a rock and a har

d place and doing the right thing<br>>> anyway.<br>><br>>
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