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Hi, Lina, and everyone else
too,
Lina's neat lawn
letter made me want to share a letter I managed to get published in the Los
Angeles Times, Letters to the Editor, last week, June 6th. Here it is.
Tom
Dear Editor,
Having just spent the past hour pulling knotweed and digging dandelions from
my lawn, I feel obliged to comment on Emily Green's excellent article about lawn
chemicals.
I have been tracking connections between 2,4-D and human and pet illnesses
for many years and am pleased to see the Times give this front page coverage.
This spring I have repeatedly seen a TV ad where some suburban man, eyeing his
neighbor's perfect lawn, says, "I hate dandelions!"
Now I like a nice lawn as much as the next person and I dig plenty of
dandelions out of my lawns, but hate? Hate seems a little strong for dandelions.
I wonder if the chemical companies haven't pulled a fast one on us?
They promote "complete" fertilizers, billed as "turf builders." These contain
ample amounts of nitrogen, phosphorus and potassium, but here in California we
can generally grow excellent turf just using nitrogen fertilizers. Excessive
phosphorus and potash encourages the growth of broadleaf plants such as clovers
and dandelions at the expense of the grasses.
Then they sell us some "weed and feed," laced with 2,4-D, that chemical
kissing cousin of 2,4,5-TP (Agent Orange), to kill off our "weeds."
I long to see the day when the homeowner with a few dandelions and daisies in
her lawn is considered progressive. So too I eagerly await the day when a front
sidewalk littered with seeds from a "messy" female tree (pollen-free) is
likewise an indicator of the owner's wisdom, sophistication, and consideration
for others.
Tom Ogren
San Luis Obispo, Ca.
----- Original Message -----
From:
A*@aol.com
To: g*@lists.ibiblio.org
Sent: Wednesday, June 12, 2002 4:19
PM
Subject: [GWL] Re: Lawns
Thought everyone would appreciate this! Ah, the
irony!
Lina
Lawns & God
GOD: St. Francis, you know all about
gardens and nature. What in the world
is going on down there in the
USA? What happened to the dandelions, violets,
thistle and stuff I
started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden
plan. Those
plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply
with
abandon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts
butterflies,
honeybees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast
garden of
colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.
ST. FRANCIS:
It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites.
They started
calling your flowers weeds and went to great lengths to kill
them and
replace them with grass.
GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not
colorful. It doesn't attract
butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and
sod worms. It's temperamental
with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites
really want all that grass growing
there?
ST. FRANCIS: Apparently
so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep
it green. They begin
each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any
other plant that crops
up in the lawn.
GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make
grass grow really fast.
That must make the Suburbanites happy.
ST.
FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut
it,
sometimes twice a week.
GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it
like hay?
ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly Lord. Most of them rake it up and
put it in bags.
GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they
sell it?
ST. FRANCIS: No, sir -- just the opposite. They pay to throw
it away.
GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so
it will grow.
And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it
away?
ST. FRANCIS: Yes, sir.
GOD: These Suburbanites must be
relieved in the summer when we cut back on
the rain and turn up the heat.
That surely slows the growth and saves them
a lot of
work.
ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the
grass stops
growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money
to water it so they
can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of
it.
GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That
was a sheer
stoke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves
in the spring
to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn
they
fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in
the soil
and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves
form compost
to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of
life.
ST. FRANCIS: You'd better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have
drawn a new
circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great
piles and pay
to have them hauled away.
GOD: No. What do they do
to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter
and to keep the soil
moist and loose?
ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go
out and buy something
which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread
it around in place of
the leaves.
GOD: And where do they get
this mulch?
ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to
make the mulch.
GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this
anymore. St. Catherine, you're
in charge of the arts. What movie have you
scheduled for us tonight?
ST. CATHERINE: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's
a real stupid movie about ...
GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard
the whole story from St.
Francis.
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