Re: Food Safety--THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!


  Food Spoilage Test
  FINALLY, a way to know what to throw-out and what to save!
  
  THE GAG TEST:
  Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers
  from what you cooked for yourself last night).
  
  EGGS:
  When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the
  egg is probably past its prime.
  
  DAIRY PRODUCTS:
  Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt
  is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese.
  Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like
  regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk
  anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is already.
  Cheddar cheese is spoiled when you think it is blue cheese
  but you realize you've never purchased that kind.
  
  MAYONNAISE:
  If it makes you violently ill after you eat it,
  the mayonnaise is spoiled.
  
  FROZEN FOODS:
  Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the
  defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will
  probably be spoiled - (or wrecked anyway) by the time you
  pry them out with a kitchen knife.
  
  EXPIRATION DATES:
  This is NOT a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away
  perfectly good food so that you'll spend more on groceries.
  Perhaps you'd benefit by having a calendar in your kitchen.
  
  MEAT:
  If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from
  a three-block radius to congregate outside your house,
  the meat is spoiled.
  
  BREAD:
  Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially
  acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of
  any loaf of bread. Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green
  growth areas are a good indication that your bread has
  turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment.
  
  FLOUR:
  Flour is spoiled when it wiggles.
  
  SALT:
  It never spoils.
  
  CEREAL:
  It is generally a good rule of thumb that cereal should
  be discarded when it is two years or longer beyond the
  expiration date.
  
  LETTUCE:
  Bibb lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the
  bottom of the vegetable crisper without Comet. Romaine
  lettuce is spoiled when it turns liquid.
  
  CANNED GOODS:
  Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a
  softball should be disposed of. Carefully.
  
  CARROTS:
  A carrot that you can tie a clove hitch in is not fresh.
  
  RAISINS:
  Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.
  
  POTATOES: Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or
  dense, leafy undergrowth.
  
  CHIP DIP:
  If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the
  floor, it has gone bad.
  
  EMPTY CONTAINERS:
  Putting empty containers back into the refrigerator is an
  old trick, but it only works if you live with someone or
  have a maid.
  
  UNMARKED ITEMS:
  You know it is well beyond prime when you're tempted to
  discard the Tupperware along with the food. Generally
  speaking, Tupperware containers should not burp when you
  open them.
  
  GENERAL RULE OF THUMB:
  Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span
  of a hamster.  Keep a hamster in or nearby your refrigerator
  to gauge this.
  

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