Re: A Little Late, but....
Jim--I see the hosta madness has permeated other parts of your mind. Very
funny.
Hank Zumach
Stoddard, WI
zone 4
----- Original Message -----
From: <ShayDguy@aol.com>
To: <hosta-open@mallorn.com>
Sent: Saturday, January 01, 2000 9:07 AM
Subject: A Little Late, but....
>
> <<
> > The Best Ways to Prepare for Y2K:
> >
> > 1. Fatten up your closest friends. You may need them
> > later. (Just think "mmm, filet of Steve")
> >
> > 2. Run to the bank and withdraw as much cash as you
> > can carry. Be sure to yell, "I'm going to the bank to
> > withdraw as much cash as I can carry!"
> >
> > 3. Have a ski mask and baseball bat handy. You won't
> > want to miss out on all the looting fun.
> >
> > 4. Dig an underground bomb shelter. If there is no
> > nuclear disaster, at least you'll have an underground
> > bomb shelter. How cool is that?
> >
> > 5. Protect your water supply. Put a drop of yellow
> > food coloring in every container.
> >
> > 6. Get some carrier pigeons. They'll be your best form
> > of communication. They also taste like chicken.
> >
> > 7. Get one of those Indiglo Watches. When we have the
> > big power failure, who's gonna know what time it is?
> > You are, that's who.
> >
> > 8. Buy lots of Spam. It will be the world's new
> > currency.
> >
> > 9. Punch a computer programmer. Why? Why not?
> >
> > 10. Have plenty of clean towels. It's not specific to
> > any millenial disaster, but when have you ever not
> > needed clean towels?
> >
> > 11. Get used to changing the TV channel by hand.
> > Remote controls will be totally inoperable.
> >
> > 12. Stock up on cat food. No, it's not for feeding
> > cats. It's for catching them (if you know what I
> > mean).
> >
> > 13. Have plenty of sharp #2 pencils on hand. Due to
> > computing errors, you may have to re-take your SAT's.
> >
> > 14. Throw out your microwave and VCR. On January 1st,
> > they may come alive and try to kill you.
> >
> > 15. Collect all the spoons you can. Why? Because right
> > now spoons are everywhere, But after January 1st, who
> > knows?
> >
> > 16. Move to Canada. Nothing bad ever happens to those
> > guys.
> >
> > 17. Visit a fertility clinic. It may be up to you
> > alone to replenish the earth.
> >
> > 18. Make friends with the Amish. Because after
> > December 31st, we're all Amish.
> >
> > 19. Hunker down. Then hunker down some more. We just
> > like to say "Hunker Down." Try it, it's fun!
> >
> > 20. Break it to your kids that the world may end.
> > Start by telling them there is no Santa Claus. That
> > way, the news won't seem so bad.
> >
> > 21. Save all your Christmas Wrapping. It doubles as
> > toilet paper.
> >
> > 22. Crawl into the fetal position and practice
> > screaming: We're all gonna die! We're all gonna die!
> >
> > 23. Stock up on earplugs. If you hear "Party Like
> > it's 1999" one more time, you will go insane.
> >
> > 24. Pray. This does no good if you're in advertising,
> > they're all going to hell regardless.
> > ____________________________ >>
> >>
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