A Little Late, but....


<< 
  > The Best Ways to Prepare for Y2K:
  > 
  > 1. Fatten up your closest friends.  You may need them
  > later. (Just think "mmm, filet of Steve")
  > 
  > 2. Run to the bank and withdraw as much cash as you
  > can carry.  Be sure to yell, "I'm going to the bank to
  > withdraw as much cash as I can carry!"
  > 
  > 3. Have a ski mask and baseball bat handy.  You won't
  > want to miss out on all the looting fun.
  > 
  > 4. Dig an underground bomb shelter.  If there is no
  > nuclear disaster, at least you'll have an underground
  > bomb shelter.  How cool is that?
  > 
  > 5. Protect your water supply.  Put a drop of yellow
  > food coloring in every container.
  > 
  > 6. Get some carrier pigeons. They'll be your best form
  > of communication.  They also taste like chicken.
  > 
  > 7. Get one of those Indiglo Watches. When we have the
  > big power failure, who's gonna know what time it is? 
  > You are, that's who.
  > 
  > 8. Buy lots of Spam. It will be the world's new
  > currency.
  > 
  > 9. Punch a computer programmer. Why? Why not?
  > 
  > 10. Have plenty of clean towels. It's not specific to
  > any millenial disaster, but when have you ever not
  > needed clean towels?
  > 
  > 11. Get used to changing the TV channel by hand.
  > Remote controls will be totally inoperable.
  > 
  > 12. Stock up on cat food. No, it's not for feeding
  > cats. It's for catching them (if you know what I
  > mean).
  > 
  > 13. Have plenty of sharp #2 pencils on hand. Due to
  > computing errors, you may have to re-take your SAT's.
  > 
  > 14. Throw out your microwave and VCR.  On January 1st,
  > they may come alive and try to kill you.
  > 
  > 15. Collect all the spoons you can. Why? Because right
  > now spoons are everywhere,  But after January 1st, who
  > knows?
  > 
  > 16. Move to Canada. Nothing bad ever happens to those
  > guys.
  > 
  > 17. Visit a fertility clinic. It may be up to you
  > alone to replenish the earth.
  > 
  > 18. Make friends with the Amish. Because after
  > December 31st, we're all Amish.
  > 
  > 19. Hunker down. Then hunker down some more. We just
  > like to say "Hunker Down." Try it, it's fun!
  > 
  > 20. Break it to your kids that the world may end.
  > Start by telling them there is no Santa Claus.  That
  > way, the news won't seem so bad.
  > 
  > 21. Save all your Christmas Wrapping. It doubles as
  > toilet paper.
  > 
  > 22. Crawl into the fetal position and practice
  > screaming: We're all gonna die!  We're all gonna die!
  > 
  > 23. Stock up on earplugs.  If you hear "Party Like
  > it's 1999" one more time, you will go insane.
  > 
  > 24. Pray. This does no good if you're in advertising,
  > they're all going to hell regardless.
  > ____________________________ >>
  >>
---------------------------------------------------------------------
To sign-off this list, send email to majordomo@mallorn.com with the
message text UNSUBSCRIBE HOSTA-OPEN
Other Mailing lists | Author Index | Date Index | Subject Index | Thread Index