:Kids


 
  >Subject:
  >A first grader was sitting in class as the teacher was reading the story
  >of
  >the Three Little Pigs. She came to the part of the story where the first
  >
  >pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home. She said
  >"...And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw
  >and said 'Pardon me sir, but might I have some of that straw to build
  >my house with?'
  >Then the teacher asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?"
  >
  >My friend's son raised his hand and said "I know! I know!, he
  >said.....
  >'Holy smokes!  A talking pig!'"
  >
  >The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
  >
  >*****************
  >A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
  >five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy
  >father and thy mother, " she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches
  >us
  >how to treat our brothers and sisters?"  Without missing a beat one
  >little boy
  >(the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
  >
  >******************
  >
  >An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown
  >
  >had kissed her after class.  "How did that happen?" gasped her mother.
  >"It
  >wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch
  >him."
  >
  >******************
  >
  >One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes
  >at the
  >kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands
  >of
  >white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.  She looks at
  >her
  >mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
  >Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and
  >make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
  >The little girl thought about this revelation for a while, and then
  >said,
  >"So, Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
  >
  >*****************
  >
  >The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
  >persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.  "Just think how
  >nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
  >'There's
  >Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.' A small
  >voice
  >at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher; she's dead."
  >
  >*******************
  >
  >A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.  Trying
  >to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I stood on my
  >head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red
  >in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am
  >
  >standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into
  >my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause yer feet ain't empty."
  >
  >******************
  >
  >For weeks, a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about
  >the
  >baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.  One day the
  >mother
  >allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year
  >old was obviously impressed, but made no comment.  Furthermore, he
  >stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.  The teacher
  >finally
  >sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever has become of that
  >baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"  Tommy burst into
  >tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"
 
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