Fw: top 10 hosta Did we have this on this site?
- To: ,
- Subject: Fw: top 10 hosta Did we have this on this site?
- From: K* A*
- Date: Sat, 29 Jan 2000 07:55:29 -0600
>
>
> A PARANOID'S LIST OF THE TOP 10 REASONS FOR THE
> REMARKABLE GROWTH OF THE HOSTA INDUSTRY
>
>10. To provide a logical vocation for those people released from our mental
>institutions in the 1980's.
>
> 9. To unite the best minds in a generation so they can be abducted
from the
> National Convention and transported to the other side of the moon where a
space ship is
>waiting.
>
> 8. The promotion of hostas is a plot by the Japanese to give payback
for
>Disney world, McDonalds, Martha Stewart, and WW2.
>
> 7. A governmental slight-of-hand which occupies the masses with
growing
>hostas while the Department of Agriculture secretly studies the sterility
of certain hosta
>cultivars in hopes of developing a program for controlling world
population.
>
> 6. In the confusion of the hosta explosion it is the hope of the Left
Wing
> Conspiracy to do clandestine research in the recombinant gene engineering
> necessary to combine H. Flower Power with Cannabis.
>
> 5. The dreaded S.F.T.H. Lobby ( Slugs For Tasty Hostas) has secretly
>joined forces with the American Rifle Association . There joint agenda is
to put
>holes in all living things on the North American continent .
>
> 4. The right wing conspiracy has infiltrated our beloved hosta
breeders
> and is currently conducting psychological warfare on the innocent
unconscious
> minds of these people in order to have hostas named after Jesse Helms ,
> Phyllis Schafely, and Newt Gingridge.
>
> 3. Madison Avenue executives are using hosta gardeners to run a top
secret
> Study on the exact degree of idiocy required of a" gardening" individual
before he or she believes
> the descriptions in hosta catalogues. The same study is attempting to
determine what genetic
> flaw is present when an individual pays $200.00 for a single hosta.
>
> 2. The Pentagon and Society of Hosta Wholesalers have combined their
wily
> staffs to introduce testosterone into the genetic mix of hostas in the
hopes of the creating
> aggressive hostas which will in turn bully their owners into buying even
more hostas. * See
> the movie "Killer Tomatoes from Outer Space)
>
> 1. Who ever sent it said - I ran out. Any ideas?
>
>
---------------------------------------------------------------------
To sign-off this list, send email to majordomo@mallorn.com with the
message text UNSUBSCRIBE HOSTA-OPEN
