(no subject)


Bush Inaugural Address

Don't know much about history
Don't know much foreign policy
Can't remember how I got through school
Cocaine and alcohol were just so cool
But what's it matter 'cause my mommy says
"Boy, if you want to you can be the prez
And what a wonderful world this will be"

Don't know much about the women's vote
Don't know much about the bill I wrote
Don't know much about the foreign vets
I've never voted for 'em yet
But I do know if your dad tries hard
He can get you in the National Guard
And what a wonderful place that can be

Now I never claimed to be an A student
But what's wrong with C's?
And maybe by lying to my lovely daughters
I can win their love for me

Don't know much about air pollution
Don't know much 'bout the constitution
Don't know much 'bout th'economy
It never much affected me

But there's one thing that I know for sure
If the rich stay rich and poor stay poor
What a wonderful world this will be

Don't know much about the national debt
Can't say that I've ever paid one yet
If we need to we can sell the States
To the Japanese at discount rates
But I do know if things get bad
Dick and I can always call my dad
And what a wonderful world this will be.




Things not to say to police officers:

 

1. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

2. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

3. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

4. Are You Andy or Barney?

5. I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a police officer.

6. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

7. I pay your salary!

8. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, 
too! 

9. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

10. I was trying to keep up with traffic. I know there are no other cars 
around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

11. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been 
drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look 
glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
 

 
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