Driver & Curse
- To: J*@aol.com, S*@aol.com
- Subject: Driver & Curse
- From: S*@aol.com
- Date: Fri, 5 Jan 2001 11:05:19 EST
HOW TO IDENTIFY WHERE A DRIVER IS FROM:
1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: CHICAGO
2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: NEW YORK
3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes
of
traffic: NEW JERSEY
4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator:
BOSTON
5. One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling
cell phone, brick on accelerator, gun in lap: LOS ANGELES
6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in
terror: OHIO, but driving in CALIFORNIA
7. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned
to
talk to someone in back seat: ITALY
8. One hand on 12 oz. Double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling
cell
phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering
wheel
while stuck in traffic: SEATTLE
9. One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between
both
feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald's
bag out the window: TEXAS
10. Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window,
beer
cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: ALABAMA
11. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield,
driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker
on:
FLORIDA
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An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he
has
been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the
exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
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