hort.net Seasonal photo, (c) 2006 Christopher P. Lindsey, All Rights Reserved: do not copy
articles | gallery of plants | blog | tech blog | plant profiles | patents | mailing lists | top stories | links | shorturl service | tom clothier's archive0
 Navigation
Articles
Gallery of Plants
Blog
Tech Blog
Plant Profiles
Patents
Mailing Lists
    FAQ
    Netiquette
    Search ALL lists
    Search help
    Subscription info
Top Stories
Links
sHORTurl service
Tom Clothier's Archive
 Top Stories
Disease could hit Britain's trees hard

Ten of the best snowdrop cultivars

Plant protein database helps identify plant gene functions

Dendroclimatologists record history through trees

Potato beetle could be thwarted through gene manipulation

Hawaii expands coffee farm quarantine

Study explains flower petal loss

Unauthorized use of a plant doesn't invalidate it's patent

RSS story archive

Brain teaser at end

  • Subject: Brain teaser at end
  • From: ShayDguy@aol.com
  • Date: Wed, 4 Jul 2001 20:21:45 EDT


A client brought a litter of golden retriever puppies
to my
veterinary clinic for inoculations and worming.
As the look-alike pups squirmed over and under
one another in their box, I realized
it would be difficult to tell the treated ones from the
rest.
So, I turned on the water faucet, wet my fingers, and
moistened each dog's head when I had finished.

After the fourth puppy, I noticed my talkative client
had grown silent.  As I sprinkled the last pup's head,
the
woman leaned forward and whispered,
"I didn't know they had to be baptized, too.





An elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was greeted
by a much younger salesman. "Is there something in particular I
can show you?" he asked.

"Yes, I want to buy a sexual sofa."

"You mean a sectional sofa," he suggested.

"Sectional schmectional," she said shrugging. "All I want is an
occasional piece in the living room!"





Woman's Mid-Life

Mid-life is when the growth of the hair on our legs slows down.   This gives
us plenty of time  to care for our newly acquired mustache.

Mid-life women no longer have upper arms; we have wingspans. We are no
longer women in sleeveless shirts; we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you stand naked in front of the mirror and can see your rear
end without turning around.

Mid-life is when you bounce (a lot), but you don't bounce back.   It's more
like splat!

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and
scream, "Listen, ho!  Even the Roman Empire fell, and those things will, too!"

Mid-life is when you realize that if you were a dog, you would need a control
top flea collar.

Mid-life is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old, you
have to pay someone to look at you naked.

You know you are old when you go for a mammogram and know it is the only time
someone will ask you to appear topless in a film.

Mid-life brings the wisdom that life throws you curves and that you're now
sitting on your biggest ones.

Mid-life can bring out your angry, bitter side.   You look at your
latte-swilling, beeper-wearing know-it-all teenager and think "For this I
have stretch marks?"

Mid-life is when your memory starts to go; the only thing you still retain is
water.

The good news about mid-life is that the glass is still half full. Of course,
the bad news is that it won't be long before your teeth are floating in it.





<< The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether
you
 are qualified to be a "professional".  Scroll down for each answer.

 The questions are not that difficult.

 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?











 The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator door, put in the giraffe

 and close the door.  This question tests whether you tend to do
simple
 things in an overly complicated way.




 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

















Wrong Answer: Open the refrigerator door, put in the elephant and
close
 the refrigerator.  Correct Answer:  Open the refrigerator, take out
the
 giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your
ability
 to think through the repercussions of your actions.





 3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference.  All the animals
 attend except one. Which animal does not attend?















 Correct Answer: The Elephant. The Elephant is in the refrigerator.

 This tests your memory. OK, even if you did not answer the first
three
 questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your
 abilities.






 4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by
 crocodiles.       How do you manage it?


















Correct Answer: You swim across. All the Crocodiles are attending the

Animal Meeting.  This tests whether you learn quickly from your
 mistakes.

 According to Andersen Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the
 professionals they tested got all questions wrong.

 But many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson
Consulting
 says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals
have
the brains of a four year old.

 Send this out to frustrate all of your friends.




 © 1995-2015 Mallorn Computing, Inc.All Rights Reserved.
Our Privacy Statement
Other Mailing lists | Author Index | Date Index | Subject Index | Thread Index