Re: Lawns

**"Henry and Janice Jenkins" hjenkins@intop.net>**

Be my guest!!
-----Original Message-----
From: Linda Moore <ljmoore@netnitco.net>
To: rose-list@mallorn.com <rose-list@mallorn.com>
Date: Friday, September 10, 1999 9:50 PM
Subject: Re: [Rose-list] Lawns


>This is great!  Could I forward it to another list (Wildgarden), with the
>original author quoted, etc.?
>
>Thanks!
>Linda Moore
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Henry and Janice Jenkins <hjenkins@intop.net>
>To: rose-list@mallorn.com <rose-list@mallorn.com>
>Date: Friday, September 10, 1999 6:40 AM
>Subject: [Rose-list] Lawns
>
>
>>
>>
>>
>>>/* This one I can really relate to!  Have a great weekend! */
>>>
>>>"Winterize your lawn," the big sign outside the garden store
>>>commanded. I've fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and watched a
>>>lot of it die anyway.  Now I'm supposed to winterize it?  I hope
>>>it's too late.  Grass lawns have to be the stupidest thing we've
>>>come up with outside of thong swimsuits!  We constantly battle
>>>dandelions, Queen Anne's lace, thistle, violets, chicory and clover
>>>that thrive naturally, so we can grow grass that must be nursed
>>>through an annual four-step chemical dependency.
>>>
>>>Imagine the conversation The Creator might have with St. Francis
>>>about this:
>>>
>>>"Frank you know all about gardens and nature.  What in the world is
>>>going on down there in the Midwest?  What happened to the
>>>dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago?  I had a
>>>perfect, no-maintenance garden plan.  Those plants grow in any type
>>>of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon.  The nectar
>>>from the long-lasting blossoms attracted butterflies, honey bees and
>>>flocks of songbirds.  I expected to see a vast garden of colors by
>>>now.  But all I see are these green rectangles."
>>>
>>>"It's the tribes that settled there, Lord.  The Suburbanites.  They
>>>started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great extent to
>>>kill them and replace them with grass."
>>>
>>>"Grass?  But it's so boring.  It's not colorful.  It doesn't attract
>>>butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms.  It's
>>>temperamental with temperatures.  Do these Suburbanites really want
>>>all that grass growing there?"
>>>
>>>"Apparently so, Lord.  They go to great pains to grow it and keep it
>>>green.  They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning
>>>any other plant that crops up in the lawn."
>>>
>>>"The spring rains and cool weather probably make grass grow really
>>>fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy."
>>>
>>>"Apparently not, Lord.  As soon as it grows a little, they cut it -
>>>sometimes twice a week."
>>>
>>>"They cut it?  Do they then bale it like hay?"
>>>
>>>"Not exactly, Lord.  Most of them rake it up and put it in bags."
>>>
>>>"They bag it?  Why?  Is it a cash crop?  Do they sell it?"
>>>
>>>"No, sir.  Just the opposite.  They pay to throw it away."
>>>
>>>"Now let me get this straight.  They fertilize grass so it will
>>>grow.  And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it
>>>away?"
>>>
>>>"Yes, sir."
>>>
>>>"These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back
>>>on the rain and turn up the heat.  That surely slows the growth and
>>>saves them a lot of work."
>>>
>>>"You aren't going believe this Lord.  When the grass stops growing
>>>so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they
>>>can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it."
>>>
>>>"What nonsense!  At least they kept some of the trees.  That was a
>>>sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself.  The trees grow
>>>leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer.  In
>>>the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to
>>>keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes.  Plus,
>>>as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil.  It's a
>>>natural circle of life."
>>>
>>>"You better sit down, Lord.  The Suburbanites have drawn a new
>>>circle.  As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles
>>>and have them hauled away."
>>>
>>>"No!  What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the
>>>winter and keep the soil moist and loose?"
>>>
>>>"After throwing away your leaves, they go out and buy something they
>>>call mulch.  They haul it home and spread it around in place of the
>>>leaves."
>>>
>>>"And where do they get this mulch?"
>>>
>>>"They cut down trees and grind them up."
>>>
>>>"Enough!  I don't want to think about this anymore.  Saint
>>>Catherine, you're in charge of the arts.  What movie have you
>>>scheduled for us tonight?"
>>>
>>>"Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid movie about..."
>>>
>>>"Never mind I think I just heard the whole story."
>>>
>>>Received from Ramona F Crain.
>>>
>>>-=+=-
>>>
>>
>>
>>
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