This is a public-interest archive. Personal data is pseudonymized and retained under GDPR Article 89.

Re: SANSEVIERIAS Digest - 11 Jan 2000 to 19 Jan 2000 (#2000-8)

I was under the impression that this list was for SANSEVIERIAS?
Apparently I am wrong.

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Sansevierias discussion list.
> [S*@MAELSTROM.STJOHNS.EDU]On Behalf Of Unruh
> Sent: Thursday, January 20, 2000 2:57 AM
> To: SANSEVIERIAS@MAELSTROM.STJOHNS.EDU
> Subject: Re: [SANS] SANSEVIERIAS Digest - 11 Jan 2000 to 19 Jan 2000
> (#2000-8)
>
>
> Thank you, Annee!!!
>
> All these many years I've been trying to get Husbandhelp.exe and
> Honeydo.bat (both perfectly good files) to run, and now I know why I
> just haven't had much success... :)
>
> Carolyn
>
> > Subject: FW: Husband 1.0
> > Date: Wed, 19 Jan 2000 13:52:23 -0700
> > From: Supannee Webb <ankraras@JUNO.COM>
> >
> > --------- Forwarded message ----------
> >
> > Dear Tech Support:
> >
> > Help!! Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0
> and noticed
> > that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting
> > software: severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower and jewelry
> > applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of
> > this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
> >
> > In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as
> > DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new,
> > undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, Saturday Football 5.0, Golf
> > 2.4 and Clutter Everywhere 4.5.  Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and
> > invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it run
> > DiaperChanging 14.1 or HouseCleaning 2.6. I've tried running Nagging 5.3
> > to fix Husband 1.0, but this general purpose utility is of limited
> > effectiveness.
> >
> > Can you help, please!!!!
> > Signed,
> > Jane
> >
> > ------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Dear Jane:
> >
> > This is a very common problem women complain about, but it is mostly due
> > to
> > a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to
> > Husband
> > 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package.
> > However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its
> > creator
> > to run as few applications as possible. Further, you cannot
> purge Husband
> > 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to
> > do
> > this. Hidden operating files within your system would cause
> Boyfriend 5.0
> > to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to
> > uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the system, once
> > installed.
> >
> > Any new program files can only be installed once per year, as
> Husband 1.0
> > has severely limited memory. Error messages are common, and a
> normal part
> > of Husband 1.0. In desperation to play some of their "old time" favorite
> > applications, or to get new applications to work, some women have tried
> > to
> > install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0. However, these women end up with
> > more problems than encountered with Husband 1.0.
> >
> > Look in your manual under "Warnings: Divorce/Child Support." You will
> > notice that this program runs very poorly, and comes bundled with
> > HeartBreak 1.3. I recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the
> > quirks of this strange and illogical system.
> >
> > Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the
> > entire section regarding General Partnership Faults [GPFs]. This is a
> > wondful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent company
> > as
> > an integral part of the operating system. Husband 1.0 must assume ALL
> > responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of root cause.
> >
> > To activate this great feature enter the command "C:\ I THOUGHT
> YOU LOVED
> > ME." Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the
> > command. Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and
> > Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.
> >
> > TECH TIP!  Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create
> > additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a
> > C:\I APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal
> > operations.
> > Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or
> > worse yet, to Beer 6.0. Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes
> > Husband
> > 1.0 to create FatBelly files and Snoring Loudly wave files that are very
> > hard to delete. Save yourself some trouble by following this tech tip!
>
Other Mailing lists | Author Index | Date Index | Subject Index | Thread Index