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I am a Collard

Square Foot Gardening List - http://www.flinet.com/~gallus/sqft.html

It has become obvious to us Southerners that our present astrological signs 
have served their purpose and that we should get rid of them.  When I'm 
driving around town I'll see bulls, and once in a great while I'll see a ram. 
 Up the street from me, there's some twins, but I don't see them much.  The 
rest of these things are just too obscure.  You only see crabs on vacation.
There are no lions or scorpions, not many archers and no darn water bearers.  
We need things we can recognize up there in the night sky.

OKRA (Dec.  22- Jan.  20)
Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside.  Okra's 
have a tremendous influence.  An older Okra can look back over his life and 
the seeds of his influence everywhere.  Stay away from Moon Pies.

CHITLIN (Jan.  21-Feb.  19)
Chitlins often come from humble backgrounds.  Many times they're 
uncomfortable talking about just where they come from.  A Chitlin, however, 
can make something of himself if he's motivated and has plenty of seasoning.  
When it comes to dealing with Chitlins, be very careful.  Chitlins can burn 
and then erupt like Vesuvius, and this can make for a really terrible mess.  
Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.

BOLL WEEVIL (Feb.  20-Mar.  20)
You have an overwhelming curiosity.  You're unsatisfied with the surface of 
things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything.  
Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner 
hunger.  Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don't worry 
about it.

MOON Pie (Mar.  21-Apr 20)
You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch.
It's a cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies.  "Big" and 
"round" are the key words here.  You should marry anybody who you can get 
remotely interested in the idea.
It's not going to be easy.  This might be the year to think about aerobics.  
Maybe not.

POSSUM (Apr.  21-May 21)
When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to 
withdraw and develop a "don't-bother-me-about-it"
attitude.  Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're 
dead.  This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but seems to 
work for you.  One day, however, it won't work, and you may find your 
problems actually running you over.

CRAWFISH (May 22-June 21)
Crawfish is a water sign.  If you work in an office, you're always hanging 
around the water cooler.  Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the 
pool to the golf course, the bathtub to the living room.  You tend not to be 
particularly attractive physically, but you have very, very good heads.

COLLARDS (Jun 22-Jul 23)
Collards have a genius for communication.  They love to get in the "melting 
pot" of life and share their essence with essences of those around them.  
Collards make good social workers, psychologist, and baseball managers.  As 
far as your personal life goes, it you are a Collard, stay away from Moon 
Pies.  It just won't work.  Save yourself a lot of heartache.

CATFISH (Jul 24-Aug 23)
Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, with one exception.  
Whiskers may cause problems for loved ones.  You catfish are never easy 
people to understand.  You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of 
life.  Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.

GRITS (Aug 24-Sep 23)
Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself.  You like to huddle 
together with a big crowd of other grits.  You love to travel, though, so 
maybe you should think about joining a club.
Where do you like to go?  Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or 
butter or eggs.  If you can go somewhere they have all these things, that 
serves you well.

BOILED PEANUTS (Sep 24-Oct 23)
You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man.
Unfortunately, those who know you best--your friends and loved ones--may find 
that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will probably 
affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear.  You 
should go right ahead and marry anybody you want because in a certain way, 
yours is a charmed life.  On the road of life, you can be sure that people 
will always pull over and stop for you.

BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24-Nov 22)
Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well with 
everybody.  You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud.  You've grown on the vine 
of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting.  You can sit next to 
anybody.  However, you, too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies.

ARMADILLO (Nov 23-Dec 21)
You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite 
gentle.  A good evening for you?  Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, 
worms, and insects.  You are a throwback.  You're not concerned with today's 
fashions and trends.  You're not concerned with anything today.  You're 
really almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns.  You 
probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is another, somewhat 
kinky, mating possibility


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