[Fwd: ] Texas Weather

We have finally had a cold front come through that has kept us down in
the 80's this week. A non-iris friend from up north sent this to me, and
since everyone seemed to relate to the Lawn Ranger story, I can't help
but send this to show exactly what we Texans live in.

  • To: "Diana Winship"
  • From: D* D*
  • Date: Sun, 19 Sep 1999 11:33:12 -0700

> The Devil On Earth
> 
> The devil wanted a place on earth
> Sort of a summer home
> A place to spend his vacation
> Whenever he wanted to roam.
> 
> So he picked out Texas
> A place both wretched and rough
> Where the climate was to his liking
> And the cowboys hardened and tough.
> 
> He dried up the streams in the canyons
> And ordered no rain to fall
> He dried up the lakes in the valleys
> Then baked and scorched it all.
> 
> Then over his barren country
> He transplanted shrubs from hell.
> The cactus, thistle and prickly pear
> The climate suited them well.
> 
> Now the home was much to his liking
> But animal life, he had none.
> So he created crawling creatures
> That all mankind would shun.
> 
> First he made the rattlesnake
> With it's forked poisonous tongue.
> Taught it to strike and rattle
> And how to swallow it's young.
> 
> Then he made scorpions and lizards
> And the ugly old horned toad.
> He placed spiders of every description
> Under rocks by the side of the road.
> 
> Then he ordered the sun to shine hotter, Hotter and hotter still.
> Until even the cactus wilted
> And the old horned lizard took ill.
> 
> Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom
> As any creator would
> He chuckled a little up his sleeve
> And admitted that it was good.
> 
> Twas summer now and Satan lay
> By a prickly pear to rest.
> The sweat rolled off his swarthy brow
> So he took off his coat and vest.
> 
> "By Golly," he finally panted,
> "I did my job too well,
> I'm going back to where I came from,
> Texas is hotter than Hell."

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