Re: Ben Armentrout-Wiswall (1961-2012)

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A number of member of this community were acquainted with Ben, who was very active in the forum for a number of years before his death in 2012.  So I thought some of you might be interested in this Facebook posted item from his life partner, Tom.  I still have e-mails from Ben - we discussed many things both on and off this forum, both horticultural and otherwise.  It was a pleasure for me to take a moment to re-read some of them and remember this kind, generous man.

Seán O.
http://about.me/seanaohara

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"It was right around this time two years ago that I woke up and found that Ben had died quietly and peacefully in his sleep on June 6, 2012. Before Ben died I never could have imagined how painful life would be without him. People often assume my life is hard now because I'm a single father of three children with special medical needs. But raising the kids on my own is mostly a challenge in terms of logistical issues, and it feels like logistics are fairly easy to deal with.

"For me, the hard part, the deep pain, comes from no longer sharing my life with Ben. It seems impossible to describe with words what it feels like to live each day in the reality that he's gone forever. I realized yesterday that there's a sadness that's always with me, it's always there to some degree. It just is.

"At the same time, continuing life without Ben has taught me so much about how wonderful love is when we have it. I often think of all the things I would have done different when Ben was alive had I known then what I know now. We had a great relationship and shared deep, unconditional love for each other. Yet, I realize now there was so much more that was possible between us.

"I don't have any regrets but it's interesting to discover through death so much about living and loving. More than anything what I've come to believe is that when we slow down and sit calmly in life we always have more love we can share. Love is one of the few things in life we never have to fear running out of and that we always can share abundantly. There's always more love inside us. Always."

Tom Armentrout-Wiswall

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