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Gardening Humor


I just received this from a friend on Native Net. Its about being overly 
involved with Plants. Please feel free to delete, and I hope none of you think
its "inappropriate" to share gardening humor. 


		10 Signs That Plants Have Taken Over Your Life.

1.  You think of the plants in your garden as "friends," but you forget
	to send your grandmother a birthday card.

2.  You divide your perennials more frequently than you rotate your
	automobile tires.

3.  When you go into a garden center, you eavesdrop on a salesperson
	talking with customers -- & you butt in to correct him & spend the
	next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the
	salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head.

4.  You use the phrase "Liriodendron tulipifera" in a conversation
	without thinking how strange your mouth feels when you say it.

5.  You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say the
	phrase "Tiarella cordifolia". Everyone understands what you mean,
	& you are not surprised or disappointed that you don't have to
	explain it.

6.  Your wife asks you to pick up some minipads for her at the store &
	you return with a dwarf waterlily.

7.  On vacation, you are reading "Manual of the Vascular Flora of the
	Carolinas" and turning the pages faster than everyone else who is
	reading John Grisham novels.

8.  You have ended friendships because of irreconcilably different
	opinions about which is better: Cercis canadensis or Cornus florida
	(what a silly debate! Cercis is better in the sun; Cornus better
	for shade!)

9.  You are so knowledgeable about plants that you feel secure enough to
	say "I don't know" when someone asks you a plant question instead of
	feeling compelled to make something up. 
	 
10. You understand all the jokes on this page. If so, my friend, 
	plants have taken over your life. We suggest, for the good of the
	planet, that you infect someone else with your addiction.
	[Life? what life?]


Forwarded from an East Coast Frend:

Hey, you don't have to dig your own garden. See how creative this guy got: 
A woman wrote to her husband in prison, asking him "where should I plant
the potatoes this year?" The husband wrote back from his prison cell 
telling her, "Don't plant the potatoes in the usual garden area, because
THAT was where I buried all my guns!" Shortly after, his wife wrote him 
in prison again to tell him that shortly after she got his last letter, 
about a dozen government agents showed up, and dug up every square foot 
of the garden. He wrote back "NOW you can plant your potatoes." 
Paul Harvey, 8/7/95 


Hey, you don't have to dig your own garden. See how creative this guy 
got: 

A woman wrote to her husband in prison, asking him "where should I plant
the potatoes this year?" The husband wrote back from his prison cell 
telling her, "Don't plant the potatoes in the usual garden area, because
THAT was where I buried all my guns!" Shortly after, his wife wrote him 
in prison again to tell him that shortly after she got his last letter, 
about a dozen government agents showed up, and dug up every square foot 
of the garden. He wrote back "NOW you can plant your potatoes." 
Paul Harvey, 8/7/95 



"The world is coming to an end. Log off & crawl home to your family now."

There are two kinds of solar-heat systems: "passive" systems collect the
sunlight that hits your home, & "active systems collect the sunlight
that hits your neighbors' homes, too. -- Dave Barry

"GARDENING:  The art of killing weeds and bugs to grow flowers 
and crops for animals and birds to eat."

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"We did not weave the web of life.  We |        Lyn Dearborn 
are merely a strand in it.  Whatever   |  Master Gardener/Naturalist
we do to the web, we do to ourselves"  | Native Basketry Instruction
  --"Walk gently on Mother Earth" --   | dearborn@anchor.engr.sgi.com
           Aaniin Anishinaabeg -- Mikinaak niin nindoodem
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