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Re: Gardening Humor

> 		10 Signs That Plants Have Taken Over Your Life.
> 
> 1.  You think of the plants in your garden as "friends," but you forget
> 	to send your grandmother a birthday card.

check...
 
> 2.  You divide your perennials more frequently than you rotate your
> 	automobile tires.

check.  Don't have a car.  Just shovels.

> 3.  When you go into a garden center, you eavesdrop on a salesperson
> 	talking with customers -- & you butt in to correct him & spend the
> 	next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the
> 	salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head.

Oh God....they've been spying!  Well...I only do it when the sales person
is wrong....

> 4.  You use the phrase "Liriodendron tulipifera" in a conversation
> 	without thinking how strange your mouth feels when you say it.

Actually my mouth has long since forgotten that it is strange.

> 5.  You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say the
> 	phrase "Tiarella cordifolia". Everyone understands what you mean,
> 	& you are not surprised or disappointed that you don't have to
> 	explain it.

bingo.

> 6.  Your wife asks you to pick up some minipads for her at the store &
> 	you return with a dwarf waterlily.

nope.  but I'm still on track I think...

> 7.  On vacation, you are reading "Manual of the Vascular Flora of the
> 	Carolinas" and turning the pages faster than everyone else who is
> 	reading John Grisham novels.

John who?

> 8.  You have ended friendships because of irreconcilably different
> 	opinions about which is better: Cercis canadensis or Cornus florida
> 	(what a silly debate! Cercis is better in the sun; Cornus better
> 	for shade!)

Except when they grow together.  Silly twit.  Don't darken my doorstep
again.

> 9.  You are so knowledgeable about plants that you feel secure enough to
> 	say "I don't know" when someone asks you a plant question instead of
> 	feeling compelled to make something up. 

Of course.  Otherwise I might be an accomplice in plantslaughter.
	 
> 10. You understand all the jokes on this page. If so, my friend, 
> 	plants have taken over your life. We suggest, for the good of the
> 	planet, that you infect someone else with your addiction.
> 	[Life? what life?]

Someone just asked me, as I talked about all the things coming up, "Bob,
you *do* have a life, don't you?!"  

I think I qualify.  I could add a few more:

11.  You have a chance to travel free to Europe, however your unusual
     biennial Verbascum is due to flower this year.  It's an issue.

12.  You have a bills due in a week totaling $179.00, and the price of
     enough manure and compost for your garden this spring will be
     $160.00.  Your next paycheck is in 2 weeks.  You buy the manure.

13.  You have taken sick days from work because you Meconopsis is blooming
     for the first time.

14.  Your friends talk about the recent bug that is laying up their kids,
     and you start talking about cutworms on your peonies.

 Bob Beer   bbeer@u.washington.edu  http://weber.u.washington.edu/~bbeer
------------------------------------------------------------------------  
 Safe upon the solid rock the ugly houses stand:     | Edna St.   
 Come and see my shining palace built upon the sand! | Vincent Millay
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