Re: Orange Lies?

Dr. Pumkinguy,

What are your hourly fee's? I need to visit your orange leather sofa!

Chris
============================================



> OK guys and gals, I mentioned that I stole the heating pad from the
> house (along with the cooler) to create my seed germinating laboratory,
> WELLLL
> last night my wife said that her neck hurt her bad and did I have any
> idea where the heating pad was. I just looked at her with my sweet eyes
> and said,
> "No Darling, I don't know where it could be." Is my stay in purgatory
> going to be extended because of this little "orange" lie? This sounds
> like a case for Dr. Wayne!
>  >>
>Mr. Zoo Doo,
>   This is definitely a case that needs further scrutiny. A very serious
>matter indeed. This is a dastardly deed. A very serious matter and
something
>that should be brought to a head immediately. I find it hard to believe
that
>someone could be so cunning , manipulating  etc. , etc. How could a loved
one
>treat their spouse so unfairly! It is a well known fact that when a wife
asks
>her husband a question, 90% of the time the wife already knows the answer.
In
>other words, you've been set up Joe. Poor Zoo Doo has been the first victim
of
>spousal pumpkin abuse for the 1998 season. Not only is your wife trying to
>deprive your newborns of the warmth that they need, she is making you feel
>guilty about it.    Now Mrs. Zoo Doo!  Front and center!! It is time for
your
>first on line therapy session from Dr. Pumkinguy .  #1 Do not ask poor Joe
any
>more pumpkin related questions that you already know the answer to. #2 Joe
is
>a warm and loving person (most pumpkin growers are) so he will be happy to
rub
>your neck....so don't even think of taking his electric blankey away from
his
>babies. After your neck rub, you will feel so refreshed that you will be
ready
>to help him shovel elephant manure tomorrow. Do not brow beat poor Joe with
>questions like...WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET OUT OF THAT DAMN PATCH AND MOW
THE
>LAWN? A more constructive question would be....Honey can I assist you with
>your chores in the patch before I mow the lawn?? A good marriage needs give
>and take and cooperation from both sides so Joe, if your wife spends too
much
>time with you in the patch and it gets dark, it would only be fair if you
>would help your wife too. Get some flash lights and fasten them to the lawn
>mower for her. We wouldn't want your wife to veer off course at night while
>mowing. She might accidentally, on purpose, cut a swath right through the
>middle of your Veltman 70 pumpkin plant. #3 and finally, Mrs. Zoo Doo, it
is
>imperative that you get your own pumpkin plant as soon as possible for
there
>is nothing more fun than a husband and wife pollinating together in the
patch
>at the crack of dawn.....it doesn't get any better than that.
>                                                    Dr. Pumkinguy
>                                                     Marriage counselor
>extraordinaire
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