Re: Reflection on the Joy of Growing AG's
- To: pumpkins@mallorn.com
- Subject: Re: Reflection on the Joy of Growing AG's
- From: P* S* T*
- Date: Thu, 26 Aug 1999 23:41:52 -0400
- List-Archive: <http://www.mallorn.com/lists/pumpkins/> (Web Archive)
With sincerest apologies to Jimmy Dean and to Rocky (the original pumpkin
poet), I offer this bit of pumpkin dementia:
BIG BAD JOHN (the AG version)
Every morning in the patch you could see him arrive
By the OTT he weighed three-forty-five
Kinda broad at the shoulders and the blossom end
You knew right away that he had grown again. Big John.
Big John
Big John
Big Bad John
Big John
His grower knew just how to tend his home
Adding fert and water and sandy loam
Didn't do an awful lot, just grew (and how)
If ya spoke at all, ya just said "Wow!" to Big John.
In the fall he weighed nearly twelve hundred pounds,
Headin' to the weigh-off to claim his crown,
Come October Second on the winner's stand
With that lucky grower at the promised land, Big John.
Big John
Big John
Big Bad John
Big John
Then comes the day that stops all the lyin'
When the scales creak and men start cryin'
Growers are prayin' and hearts beat fast
All the fruit was weighed 'cept for the last, that's John.
Through the dust and the heat of this man-made fun
Moved a giant of a fruit -- a really heavy one
Carrying the tarp, eight men gave out a groan
And then on the scales, he stood there alone, Big John.
Big John
Big John
Big Bad John
Big John
They weighed this example of a labor of love
A judge yelled out, "Ninety-eight pounds above!"
And twenty men scrambled to beg for some seed
And his grower just smiled, with no trace of greed.
Then from the scales, they lower'd him back down
And came a rumble as he touched the ground
As they carefully opened up the back of the rind,
Everybody knew it was the end of the line for Big John.
Big John
Big John
Big Bad John
Big John
With photographs taken to remember it,
His grower's got six months to savor it,
Then with seed from this year and help from the Lord
Next year in the patch there'll be another big gourd -- Big John
Big John
Big John
Big Bad John
Big John
Big John
Big Bad John
Big John
Did somebody say, "One more time!" ? Nah, I didn't think so.
Grow well and keep dreaming!
Paul Thompson
Armada, Michigan
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