virus alert!
- To:
- Subject: virus alert!
- From: R* S*
- Date: Mon, 26 Feb 2001 11:43:08 -0600
- Content-Disposition: inline
- Content-Length: 2864
- List-Archive: <http://www.mallorn.com/lists/pumpkins/> (Web Archive)
Hello Group
I know most of these virus warnings are a scam, but this one seemed like a serious threat, especially to pumpkin growers so I decided to post it.
Subject: virus alert!
Date: Wed, 24 Jan 2001 18:36:18 -0600
Organization: Wright Basement
If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it immediately!
Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty.
It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on
disks within 20 feet of your computer.
It will run the charges up on all of your credit cards to their limit and then demagnetize the stripes. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play.
It will program your phone auto dial to call only 900 numbers.
This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank and Round Up into your pumpkin overhead watering system.
It will access your freezer through voltimetric microvias and sterilize all of your pumpkin seeds. Unplug your freezer immediately!
It will drink ALL your beer and turn all of your wine into Sake.
FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE MAN, ARE YOU LISTENING?!!!!
It will replicate a cloned imbedded version of an even more dangerous virus into your underground heating cables, causing them to catch fire which will turn your entire planting site into scorched embers.
It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting company.
It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all the while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.
It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye.
It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings that grossly change the interpretations of key sentences.
If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.
It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows; it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.
**WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN.**
And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds you'll only grow pumpkins that produce green fruit that will never exceed 100 Lbs!
disclaimer: this e mail was not meant to offend or mis-represent. The sole intent is to humor the reader :) this mail was not originated by me, but modified for the intent of this group.
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