Fwd: After Hours Entry and Exit Procedures



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  • To: M*@aol.com, P*@aol.com, G*@Valley.net, P*@aol.com, c*@aol.com, f*@shentel.net
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  • Subject: After Hours Entry and Exit Procedures
    • 

  • From: p*@pop.dn.net (Phil Loar)
    • 

  • Date: Thu, 5 Feb 1998 22:13:31 -0500 (EST)
    • 



To: David (home)
From: paloar@pop.dn.net (Phil Loar)
Subject: After Hours Entry and Exit Procedures

From: "Loar, Amy" <aloar@dfsc.dla.mil>

 Editorial comments left in since they are so appropo.  
 
 Ladies ~~ my nomination for a Darwinian award if ever I saw one & if
 not -- a great laugh!! Enjoy.
 
 Get a load of this.  And they thought Americans were stupid.
 
 THE CAT FLAP   (from the "Vancouver Sun")
 
 "In retrospect, I admit it was unwise to try to gain access to my
 house via the cat flap," Gunther Burpus admitted to reporters in
 Bremen, Germany.  "I suppose that the reason they're called cat flaps,
 rather than human flaps, is because they're too small for people, and
 perhaps I should have realized that."
 
 Burpus, a forty-one year old gardener from Bremen, was relating how he
 had become trapped in his own front door for two days, after losing
 his house keys.
 
 "I got my head and shoulders through the flap, but became trapped fast
 around the waist.  At first, it all seemed rather amusing.  I sang
 songs and told myself jokes.  But then I wanted to go to the lavatory.
 I began shouting for help, but my head was in the hallway so my
 screams were muffled.
 
 After a few hours, a group of students approached me but, instead of
 helping, they removed my trousers and pants, painted my buttocks
 bright blue, and stuck a daffodil between my cheeks.  Then they placed
 a sign next to me which said 'Germany resurgent, an essay in street
 art. Please give generously' and left me there."
 
 "People were passing by and, when I asked for help, they just said
 'very good! Very clever!' and threw coins into my trousers.  No one
 tried to free me. In fact, I only got free after two days because a
 dog started licking my private parts and an old woman complained to
 the police.  They came and cut me out, but arrested me as soon as I
 was freed.  Luckily they've now dropped the charges, and I collected
 over DM3,000 in my underpants, so the time wasn't entirely wasted."
 
 
 
 
 






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