Re: Fear and Loathing in Pumpkin Land
Vince, Diana or as Dave Stelts said IT:
You did not scare anyone, you LIED, MISLED, & DECEIVED.
If you and Hera conspired, you should see a Doctor. not an MD.
Bob Attaway
----- Original Message -----
From: vince <diana_doucet@yahoo.com>
To: <pumpkins@mallorn.com>
Sent: Monday, January 22, 2001 4:52 PM
Subject: Fear and Loathing in Pumpkin Land
> I have a confession to make. The rumors of my
> insidious schemes are true and I am guilty. I
> conspired with the devious Hera to scare the holy
> bejesus out of the growers from the Pacific Northwest
> and run their mossy hides out of Half Moon Bay. This
> was a terrible decision on my part because now the
> Pacific Northwest is holding back on providing cheap
> electricity to California and much of Northern
> California is in the dark. I am ashamed of this, but
> I must take full responsibility.
>
> It is also true that I did not bring a pumpkin to the
> Half Moon Bay weigh-off. It was really a squash
> colored a suspicious shade of orange. This was
> overlooked by the judges who ruled it the third
> biggest pumpkin grown in California last year. Any
> claims that the adventures of Hera and the other
> goddesses were written primarily for the entertainment
> of the members of this mailing list are pure
> poppycock.
>
> Other charges leveled against me by certain members of
> this list are also true. I have been known to molest
> small children and have also shared cardinal
> relationships with other species including innocent
> farm animals. The sexual confusion caused by my poor
> choice of pen names caused Gerry Checkon's 1131 pound
> pumpkin to be without seed last year, and so
> disoriented Kirk Mombert that he decided not to grow
> orange pumpkins anymore and will now focus on squash.
> In light of the above, my current designation as an
> "it" or "whatever" is very appropriate.
>
> For those who avoided Half Moon Bay for fear of being
> thrashed by the hideous Hera, I extend the sincerest
> of apologies. Hera has been punished for her sins.
> She has been publicly humiliated, drawn and quartered
> and candy made out of her body parts. Her seed has
> been sent to the Four Corners of the planet and I
> plowed her treasured "Temple of Beans" into the dirt.
>
> I, however, am still at large and my underhanded
> schemes to win that truck at Half Moon Bay continue
> unabated. I still want that truck. Even if I have to
> grow a really big pumpkin to do it - I'll do it. Yes,
> God help me, I swear! If there is a huge spike up in
> the price of fish emulsion this year, you'll know why.
> - Nothing can stop me. Hah, hah, hah, hah!
>
> vince
> fourth year grower
> best 789, 2000
> zone 9, the ambiguity zone
>
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