Peeing in your patch

Anyway, Jerry Baker says:
As most of us know, animals (predators) 'mark' their territory, and
lesser animals (prey) tend to avoid those areas like the plague.
Well, man is the "ultimate" predator....  He suggests getting a
gallon milk jug, a funnel and use it as a urinal.
////////////////////////////////

I can remember this subject coming up last year.....
It inspired me to write this little ditty

To pee or not to pee


I watched my dog
The other day
Marking his territory
In a doggy like way
I guess other animals would smell it
And know right away
That this is his turf
And they'll keep well away
I thought for a minute
What a great idea
I'll mark my garden
And fill the squirrels with fear
I waited for dark
So no one would see
And went out to the garden
To have a good pee
But before all of this
I drank a six pack of beer
The bladder was full
And in high gear
I planned it all out
I'd pee in a line
Across the back of the garden
It should work real fine
I got into position
But I ran out of luck
Wouldn't you know it
My zipper was stuck
I was swearing and cursing
And doing the dance
So I unbuckled my belt
And pulled down my pants
And at that very same moment
Came a light from a torch
From my next door neighbour
Who was on his back porch
Hell I couldn't wait
And he spoiled my plan
Then I heard a voice say
What are you doing Dan
I pulled up my pants
What could I say
I'm marking my turf
To keep the squirrels away
He was laughing so much
He nearly peed to
He said I've got a method
I'll share it with you
I feed them peanuts
This plan can't be beat
And when they go to my garden
Their too full to eat
So now I buy peanuts
To feed the little dears
But I still keep in practice
Yes I still drink the beers.
                         (c)


For more crazy pumpkin poems go to my pumpkin poem page....

Tony Hickman
Adelaide.  South Australia
The driest state on the driest continent.
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