Pumpkin thefts

    As I am sure all of you know, there is a serious problem nation-wide
with pumpkin thievery. Local, state & federal authorities appear
stumped. This past Halloween, only 2 thefts were successfully? solved, &
the perpetrators got off scott free in 1 case.
    In order to prevent the spread of terror among pumpkin growers
everywhere; something must be done. In addition to whatever steps are
taken on a personal level, something must be done to cover failures that
result in successful thefts. The efforts by law enforcement authorities
have not met with much success & have had no success in deterring
further pumpkin thefts.
    I believe that something further must be undertaken. We need our own
enforcement officer, to track down the dastards & punish them
effectively. A sort of super hero of the pumpkin patch.
    Therefore, I shall put aside my finer instincts & leap into the
breech. It's a dirty job but someone has to do it; so I shall sacrifice
my own needs for the sake of pumpkin fanatics everywhere. & yes, I
realize I will be lifting terror from the hearts of pumpkin growers
everywhere & that you will never forget me for this sacrifice.
    I volunteer for the position of pumpkin witch: that caped crusader
(on a broom) who will track  down & punish all pumpkin thieves, turning
them into a pool of rotted pumpkin slime.
     As soon as you appoint me as pumpkin witch, I shall immediately
send away for a mail-order short course in witchcraft (slime spells a
specialty), some orange robes, a jet-powered broom (one must be up to
date; & you do want rapid response, don't you?) & a phone booth. The
booth will do double duty, as both communications & changing room. See
how frugal I am?

    I heard that, Marv!!!: What do you mean, I probably have my own
broom already?!!!!!!!!!
Yours truly,
The prospective Pumpkin Witch
TerryLynn
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