dark theory & dark pumpkin theory


The Dark Sucking Theory -DSK 
For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs
emit light, but recent obervations I have made and
then studied have proven otherwise.  
Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. 
Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers.
The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark
suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than
light. 
First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that
electric bulbs suck dark.  For example, take the Dark
Sucker in the room you are in.  There is much less
dark right next to it than there is elsewhere.  The
larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to
suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much
greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in most
rooms. 
So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. 
Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. 
This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker.

A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker.  A new candle has
a white wick. You can see that after the first use,
the wick turns black, representing all the dark that
has been sucked into it.  If you put a pencil next to
the
wick of an operating candle, it will turn black.  This
is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into
the candle.  One of the disadvantages of these
primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range. 
There are also portable Dark Suckers.  In these, the
bulbs can't handle all the dark by themselves and must
be aided by a Dark Storage Unit.  When the Dark
Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or
replaced
before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again. 
Dark has mass.  When dark goes into a Dark Sucker,
friction from the mass generates heat.  Thus, it is
not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker.
Candles present a special problem as the mass must
travel into a solid wick instead of through clear
glass.  This generates a great amount of heat and
therefore it's not wise to touch an operating candle.
Again, dark is heavier than light.  If you were to
swim just below the surface of the lake, you would see
a lot of light.  If you were to slowly swim deeper and
deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker.
When you get really deep, you would be in total
darkness.  This is because the heavier dark sinks to
the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at
the top.  The is why it is called light. 
Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light.
If you were to stand in a lit room in front of a
closed, dark closet, and slowly opened the closet
door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet.
 But
since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see
the dark leave the closet. 
Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it
is really a Dark Sucker. 
Several experiments involving pumpkins and dark are
underway as I speak (write).  We all know, from our
pumpkins at holloween with candles in them, that
pumpkins are able to restrict the flow of dark and
thus create the illusion of brighness inside them.
I'm still working on how the Darkness inside a pumpkin
may or may not affect its tendacy to split while it's
growing.  What puzzles me is how the Dark gets inside
the pumpkin in the first place?  Does it slowly work
its way in at night? if so does it leak out during the
day?  if so how fast? if is does leak out and since
dark is heavier, then we should all keep our fruit
covered until right before it is weighed to keep that
extra weight inside, or weigh them just before sun
rise to obtain the maximum darkness inside.  or does
darkness just grow inside naturally?  we all know that
pumpkins grow at night! I think there are dark forces
at work that we know very little about, if anything. 
Maybe some Star Wars fans can help me out here? 

Gordon Tanner
Maple Valley WA 

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