Rain --- so far.....
Watching the rain fall this morning reminded me of a
flurry of emails that graced the internet a year or so
ago; prompted be the simple question: Why to pumpkins
float?
There were the usual responses:
"Pumpkins float because their feet can't reach the
bottom!"
Proof? None sited.
"Pumpkins float because they are witches."
That sparked a discussion of how this can be 'proven'.
"The Mountie python theory is that 'they' burn witches
at the stake . Stakes burn because they are made of
wood. Wood floats. Another thing that floats is a
duck, so, if a pumpkin weighs the same as a duck, it
will float, and, therefore is in fact a witch. Some
pumpkins weigh more than a duck and still float. A boat
also floats and if a pumpkin does not weigh quite the
same as a boat add a motor to make up the difference.
Then the pumpkin is not a witch but a Warnoch and will
be burned at the stake and this is how the first
pumpkin pie was discovered."
And this far fetched idea:
"Pumpkins float because each and every seed contains a
small anti-gravity field."
Proof: Cut up the pumpkin and take all the seeds. Wait
a few days for all residual anti-gravity to dissipate,
them place pumpkin back in the water and see if it
floats.
And of course there was my response:
"...Still, I feel the need to mention that in addition
to the 'density theories', other theories, based on the
sometimes strange and bizarre world of quantum
mechanics might suggest that pumpkins do not float at
all, but rather, hover, just above the water while
displacing a certain amount of said water."
Proof: I just told you dam it :)
And still more mindless dribble:
"Depending on your personal interpretation of the
Unified Field Theorem the reasons vary. Oh, sure
there's always the simple answer so often given by
pedantic minded physicists 'pumpkins float because
their density is less than the density of water' but
what does this actually tell us about the pumpkin
itself?"
And so, what does that tell us about the
pumpkin?????????
Through the use of careful study and tedious collection
of all empirical evidence it was determined that:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Pumpkin float because they are happy!
Names of contributing growers have been left off to
protect themselves and their families from public
ridicule and scorn.
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