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Evil Stan

I'mmmmmmmmm  Baaaaaaaaaaaack!
  Well, after the Fungus Gnats ate me, (my own fault), I found myself at
the Gates Of That Big Garden In The Sky.  To my astonishment the
gatekeeper wouldn't let me in!
"MUD!"  I said.  (Sorry, I usually don't use dirty words.)  
     He said that I would have to go through some 12 step program or
something before I could gain entrance, and even that was iffy.
    I would have to admit my deepest, darkest gardening secret.  
    Ok, I said, here it is.  

When all the other gardeners on the block were getting beautiful flower
gardens out in front of their houses, I had to do something.  (They were
all generous and ambitious gardeners,  The snobs.)  I decided to play
Johnny Sunflower Seed.  
     In the dark of night, with no moon shinning, I would go out once a
year and plant a few Giant Sunflower seeds in their garden.  
     Boy, you should have heard them talk.  They all thought it was an
act of God. A sign.   A good sign.  Never once did they suspect someone
(like me) had intervened.  
     Each year, now, I plant something different in their gardens.  Last
year it was Eggplant, this year, I haven't decided yet.  Maybe poison
ivy.  That will teach them not to let me play in their reindeer games. 
(You wouldn't believe how difficult it is to find poison ivy seeds)
     
     Evil Stan.     The dead gardener

P.S.  The gatekeeper's initials are JGG.  (Big fellow.  Laughs like Santa
Clause.  Dresses like Peter Pan.)
     

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