Re: life IS good

 Janet:  Thanks for the kind words, but my real hope lies in my children and what kind of parents they will be some day...then I will be able to look back on my life and know how well I did at breaking the cycle...Every day I must remember that and do my best to bring up kids who will be good parents to my future grandchildren.  :-)

Melody, IA (Z 5/4)

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious."    
--Albert Einstein --- On Fri 12/20, Janet Laytham  wrote:From: Janet Laytham [mailto: jw.laytham@worldnet.att.net]To: gardenchat@hort.netDate: Fri, 20 Dec 2002 16:38:25 -0500Subject: Re: [CHAT] life IS goodBreaking the cycle....sounds easy, but notice you're the only one whosucceeded.  Congratulations.on 12/19/2002 4:51 AM, Melody at mhobertm@excite.com wrote:> JR:  I think we must have been living the same lives in parallel universes or> something...I have 5 brothers (1 dead) and 1 sister and none of them are> people I freely choose to associate with...My father was a violently abusive> alcoholic and all 6 of my siblings chose to follow him down the road of> alcoholism and drug addiction and all the consequent negative energy that> brought into their lives.  I see my family for one reason only:  out of love> and respect for my mother and only for as long as I can sanely tolerate> it...the choices they have all made for their lives are not choices I could> live with and be spiritually and emotionally healthy...Even with my mother, I> must choose to remember always that she makes choices that serve her needs and> though they are really bad choices many times, they are hers to make.  I left> home forever the day after I graduated high school and never went back except> when it was unavoidable...even then, there came a point where I eventually t!> old my family of origin that their problems were theirs and I didn't want to> get involved.  To people whose lives have been blessed to never have known> these kinds of maladaptive, abusive family relationships, this might seem cold> and extremely harsh.  For me, it was the ONLY thing that saved me from a life> of misery like the kind I grew up in.  I went to college on full tuition> scholarships, worked 3-4 part time jobs every semester to pay the rent and so> I could eat and I have crafted for myself the life I always dreamed of having.> It is not a perfect life, but it is a completely sane and safe one.  Of this> one thing I will always be most proud...for my children,



 the cycle of abuse> that transmits itself intergenerationally has been stopped...and I can leave> this world someday being joyful in that one thing alone...> > > Melody, IA (Z 5/4)> > "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious."> --Albert Einstein --- On Sun 12/15, Jesse Bell  wrote:From: Jesse Bell> [mailto: jesserenebell@hotmail.com]To: gardenchat@hort.netDate: Sun, 15 Dec> 2002 20:54:09 -0600Subject: Re: [CHAT] life IS goodLinda...I don't think I> could have said it any better.  I come from a big family...and I'm not close> to a single one of them.  As I tell Pam...I am an alien...born into a family> that is nothing like me.  I do not fit in..will never fit in...do not WANT to> fit it.  My father is a racist, bigot, my mother lets him run all over her and> her children (including abuse), my siblings are all "out there" dwelling on> the past or refusing to move forward in their lives (therapy for 20 years).  I> say get over it, move on with your life, adopt your own family (as Pam> says..."friends are family you choose for yourself")...well, the family I have> chosen is outstanding.  I am respectful of my family and will be there if they> need me...but they are not folks I would choose to hang out with.  And y!> a know what...if it weren't for my family being the way they are...I would> have never picked up my bed and bags and moved on.  I would not have grown in> a spiritual way.  So, for that...I thank my family....because I like who I> have become.Jesse Rene' BellClaremore, OKZone 6>From: "Linda" >Reply-To:> gardenchat@hort.net>To: >Subject: Re: [CHAT] life IS good>Date: Sun, 15 Dec> 2002 09:43:06 -0700>>Ceres wrote:>>   I> > >believe as you age you may miss> not having a family.>>Families come in all shapes and sizes.  Some are warm> and supportive, some>are mildly abusive, some are cruel and destructive, some> are just not >close,>and some people simply do not have living relatives.  Not> sure I understand>why someone should miss family in the less pleasant> categories, or why the>agin



g process should be made to appear more scary to> someone who has no>family.>>Linda in> Wyoming>_________________________________________________________________Help> STOP SPAM with the new MSN 8 and get 2 mo!> nths FREE*  http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail---------------> > > > ------------------------------------------------------To sign-off this list,> send email to majordomo@hort.net with themessage text UNSUBSCRIBE GARDENCHAT> > _______________________________________________> Join Excite! - http://www.excite.com> The most personalized portal on the Web!> > ---------------------------------------------------------------------> To sign-off this list, send email to majordomo@hort.net with the> message text UNSUBSCRIBE GARDENCHAT---------------------------------------------------------------------To sign-off this list, send email to majordomo@hort.net with themessage text UNSUBSCRIBE GARDENCHAT

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