Re: survey

Thanks, Zem.  That's being a friend.  As I said, I just go with the flow if
I can't get out of it gracefully; I'm not going to make a scene over it.
But Debbe knows how I feel.  When we go out for her birthday, we hug all she
wants, but on my birthday, I stop her in her tracks.
Kitty

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Zemuly Sanders" <zsanders@midsouth.rr.com>
To: <gardenchat@hort.net>
Sent: Thursday, December 30, 2004 8:03 PM
Subject: Re: [CHAT] survey


> Kitty, I'll hug anyone (or anything) that stands still long enough unless
I
> know they don't like or want it.  I'm just very tactile, but also very
> tactful at the same time.  I know my friends well enough to know who likes
> hugs and who doesn't, and I do not cross the line.  Part of being a good
> friend, IMHO, is respecting the space of others.
> zem
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Kitty" <kmrsy@comcast.net>
> To: "Agardenchat" <gardenchat@hort.net>
> Sent: Thursday, December 30, 2004 7:08 PM
> Subject: [CHAT] survey
>
>
> >I guess I should have been more precise.
> > I was thinking of the example I mentioned:
> >>>You can't say a simple "Hey that was great fun! Thanks for inviting me.
> > See you soon!"<<
> > To elaborate:
> > I get together with about 6-8 women about every 6 weeks to chat at one
of
> > our homes.  We've know each othe since grade or high school.  One woman,
> > my
> > oldest friend, loves to hug anything she can grab hold of.  As I
followed
> > her out at evening's end she threw her arms around the hostess and
thanked
> > her for  a nice night. As her arms came back up she attempted to bring
> > them
> > down on me for the next hug; I deftly caught it in mid air and guided it
> > away quietly.  But no, she whips it back up and comes down on me with
both
> > arms, so I ducked out of harms way.  "I want a hug!"  "Debbe, you know I
> > don't like hugs."  "I don't care!  I want a hug!"  "Well, you're not
> > getting
> > it from me."
> >
> > Anyone looking at this exchange would think I'm very antisocial, and
> > what's
> > the harm in a hug.  Hugs are positive things.  So I look like a jerk for
> > asking someone not to hug me.  So instead I usually just submit, grin
and
> > bear it.  But Debbe KNOWS how I feel.  Hugs make me very uncomfortable.
> > We
> > have discussed it.  And this is not some special moment in our lives.
> > It's
> > a simple "good bye - see you next time" thing.  Why must I have to grit
my
> > teeth and take it just because she wants it?  Hmmm? That's abuse of the
> > friendship.
> >
> > So, the A or B I'm asking about refers to a casual, reasonably frequent
> > get-together of friends.
> >
> > Just so you know - I gladly and warmly hugged my nephew when he got off
> > the
> > plane last night.  But it has been over 6 months and he nearly died a
> > couple
> > of times.  That is hug material.
> >
> >
> > Kitty
> >
> > ----- Original Message ----- 
> > From: "Jesse Bell" <
> >> Depends on the person...family, friend, business associate.  Some
people
> > you
> >> feel more comfortable hugging than others.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> >From: kmrsy@comcast.net
> >> >Reply-To: gardenchat@hort.net
> >> >To: gardenchat@hort.net
> >> >Subject: Re: [CHAT] One project  > survey
> >> >Date: Thu, 30 Dec 2004 21:53:39 +0000
> >> >
> >> >I think that's wonderful, Donna. I wish I could be more like that. To
> >> >tell you the truth, though, I am in better shape now than during her
> >> >last visit. I'm just not a particularly sociable person and
consequently
> >> >I'm sort of torn betwen wanting to just do what I want and feeling
like
> >> >a terrible host.
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >Here's an example:
> >> >I reallllllllllly hate all the hugging people want to do all the time
> >> >now. You can't say a simple "Hey that was great fun! Thanks for
inviting
> >> >me. See you soon!", without someone glombing on to you, grabbing you
> >> >with both arms and dragging you into their bosom.
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >So, survey time:
> >> >A: "Hugs all-around! I'm touchy-feely. Anyone within grabbing
distance!
> >> >Hello! Goodbye! Oh, just c'mere and give me a great big hug!!!!!"
> >> >
> >> >B:  "Hugs ok if appropriate - which is rarely.  Keep your distance."
> >> >
> >> >Which one are you?  A or B?
> >> >
> >> >Kitty
> >
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