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Re: OT-Reverse sexism?!

I remember how proud my mother was when she got her first credit card in her
name, quite late in her life!
    I kept my married name when I divorced because my maiden name was
Hepp -- try introducing yourself with that name at a party!  You either get
bad jokes like "Hepp Hepp Hooray" or people say "huh?" over and over -- the
name just kind of vanishes into thin air like a gulp.
    And one more -- my folks did not give my sister and me middle names
"because you will get married and then you will have your husband's name and
Hepp can be your middle name."  My brother got a middle name.  !!!
--Barbara Tandy, California
----- Original Message -----
From: "Melody" <mhobertm@excite.com>
To: <gardenchat@hort.net>
Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2003 8:02 AM
Subject: Re: [CHAT] OT-Reverse sexism?!

> Janet: Way to go!!!! Even married women have this problem, though...a
> few years ago, when I bought my first minivan, one that I had found,
> test drove, arranged the financing for, etc. the car dealership filled
> out all the paperwork with my husband listed as the primary owner. I was
> so mad, but I patiently explained to the salesman that I was signing
> nothing until all of the paperwork was done correctly, with my name as
> the primary owner, etc. The owner of the dealership came out to the
> salesman's office and said this was common practice when a married
> couple bought a vehicle and ...I didn't even give him a chance to
> finish...just told him that if he wanted to sell this van to this
> married couple he would do as I asked without any further excuses...I
> think sometimes it is easy to forget that if women do not have credit in
> their own name, then if something happens to their husbands (divorce,
> death, etc) then the woman is basically a non-entity for some time
> afterwards.
> Melody, IA (Z 5/4)
> "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious."
> --Albert Einstein
>  --- On Tue 01/28, Janet Laytham < jw.laytham@worldnet.att.net > wrote:
> From: Janet Laytham [mailto: jw.laytham@worldnet.att.net]
> To: gardenchat@hort.net
> Date: Tue, 28 Jan 2003 20:17:10 -0500
> Subject: Re: [CHAT] OT-Reverse sexism?!
> Kitty,
> About 5 years ago I re-financed, and when the bank presented me with the
> papers, the form was full of masculine pronouns: it assumed that the
> mortgagee was a single male, I guess.  So, I started at the top and
> out all the "he, his, him" references and replaced each with the
> feminine pronoun . It took me 10 minutes to get half way through, so I
> finally stopped and announced to the loan officer that I had probably made
> my point.
> When I returned to the bank a few days later, the loan officer (a woman)
> said her management had been very upset and berated her for letting me do
> it.  They were afraid the county clerk wouldn't accept the deed.  I
> that the clerk was probably a woman.  Of course it was filed and accepted.
> I wonder if that bank still uses that form?
> Janet
> on 01/28/2003 6:06 PM, Kitty Morrissy at kmrsy@earthlink.net wrote:
> > Jim,
> > I guess what I should have said was that understood their use of the
> > but didn't agree with it.
> >
> > I remember in the late 70s a friend of mine, a pilot, lost out on a job
> > a woman who had a lot less flying time.  They said they had to hire
> > I don't agree with that.  I also had a husband who refused to tip
> > didn't want to "encourage them to stay in that line of work" because he
> > wanted to be waited on by a cute girl.  (I always left the guy a nice
> > tip)
> >
> > I also resent the refusal to use the title Ms.  A salesperson called and
> > referred to me as Mrs. Morrissy, I told her I'm not married and that it
> > bad form to assume I was.  She said she was instructed to use only Mrs.
> > resent this - as if single people don't count.  Then I received a
> > service offering through my church, addressed to Kitty Morrissy.  All 3
> > pages of the letter described everything offered as being conditioned on
> > the purchase of 2 plots, vaults, urns, whatever.  I called to tell them
> > that this is exceptionally rude marketing, and were I interested in such
> > services, I would definitely shop elsewhere.
> >
> > Why don't single people count?
> >
> > Kitty
> >
> >
> >> [Original Message]
> >> From: Island Jim <jsinger@igc.org>
> >> To: <gardenchat@hort.net>
> >> Date: 1/28/2003 4:45:14 PM
> >> Subject: Re: [CHAT] now plant clubs- Reverse sexism?!
> >>
> >> you're right of course, kitty. but at risk of being a sexist, i think
> >> women who have carried the torch against sexist behavior by men against
> >> women have cozened the word as their own with only their definition as
> >> acceptable.
> >>
> >> i think that's why when cooler heads [or both sexes] joined the
> > discussion,
> >> reverse sexism came to be used as the other kind.
> >>
> >> At 06:27 AM 1/28/03 -0500, you wrote:
> >>> I have to ask this qstn. The subject line has been bugging me. What do
> >>> you mean by reverse sexism? Being sexist is the same abhorant behavior
> >>> whether it is a preference of male over female or female over male.
> >>> Reverse sexism then would be the opposite; no preference, wouldn't it?
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> Kitty
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