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Re: its awfully quiet....and the struggle of next week

Thanks for the words of experience and support : )


holmesbm@usit.net wrote:
Keep your spirit up.  We have this disease in my family so I know what you
are going through is very difficult.  She may blame you for all sorts of
things but remind yourself that it is the disease talking and getting your
Mom confused.  Your Mom won't be the same person you knew and you are doing
the best for her.  If you leave her in her home, she won't eat properly,
take her medicine, and may injure herself.
My Mom, who can't identify us and now can't find her way to and from the
dining room, still insists that we were wrong in removing her from her home
and not replacing her car that she wreaked so she can have her independence
back.  Since she no longer knows how to turn on the TV, she might not be
able to drive a car.  Even though we have to tell her who we are, the staff
says she enjoys our visits and tells them her kids come when they can...she
is 10 hours from me.

I keep hoping that research finds a way to reverse this disease before I
end up in la la land.  I keep reminding my daughter to ignore what I say
if/when I get to the same point.

Here's hoping the entire process goes more smoothly than you fear.

[Original Message]
From: Theresa W <tchessie1@sbcglobal.net>
To: <gardenchat@hort.net>
Date: 5/25/2007 12:38:50 AM
Subject: [CHAT] its awfully quiet....and the struggle of next week

Is everyone outside??

Well- I know I haven't been online much either, but here is the update on me. Garden-related: I planted the new astilbe that friends gave me for my birthday this afternoon, and I gave away a bunch of plants that I had too much of or not enough room anymore to a friend this evening.

Tomorrow, I'm working half day, then packing to go back to Texas, and getting a massage at 2pm in an effort not to implode.

Saturday I fly to Texas. Next Tuesday in Texas, my younger sister and I will be taking my mom to an Alzheimer's care center to admit her. I'm very stressed about this, and sad, and relieved, and pretty much every other possible emotion that exists. It is going to be horrible, she is going to be furious, and I'm sure lots of crying will occur. But, it is the right thing to do, she is getting worse by the day. The center is really nice, has an enclosed garden area (so she can go in and out whenever she wants) and they have suggested that we bring her bird feeders to put outside her window. They also will let her plant things in the garden area, and her winder looks out on the garden. Still, I can't wait until Tuesday is over. We can't tell her what we are doing, and that feels very icky- but everyone has advised us to just get her in the car and bring her without her knowing where she is really going. Otherwise she'll be so upset before she gets there, it is even worse (we definitely don't need "worse"). I'm going to stay in Texas for another week after that, visit my mom (we'll see if she will ever talk to me) and help support my sister. Then, I'm flying to Boston to visit my older sister and nephew (he's graduating from preschool!). That will be my chance to recuperate, and Carl is a great distraction. I'm sure I'll make lots of Lego things with him : )

So- I'll return to my own life in mid-June, but will try to check in occassionally in the meantime. Thanks to all who have been checking up on me to see how things are going. I really appreciate this groups support, and particularly any positive thoughts you can send my way next Tuesday.


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