I know I shouldn't....
- To:
- Subject: I know I shouldn't....
- From: L* T*
- Date: Tue, 7 Dec 1999 21:09:21 -0500
...but you guys, things have just been too serious in Hostadom lately. I
promise not to do this again, but I found this too funny and I thought that
maybe some of you could use a laugh about now. I know I did. I needed to be
reminded not to take this stuff too seriously, and to count my lucky stars
that I don't have hang ups, but most of all, to thank someone up above, that
I'm not Clive Gould!!!
Hope you enjoy as much as I did!
Lu (in Guatemala)
> > > This is an accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of
> > > The British equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board.
> > > This is the bricklayer's report, a true story.
> > >
> > > Dear Sir,
> > >
> > > I am writing in response to your request for additional information
> > > in Block_3 of the accident report form. I put "Poor Planning" as
the
> > > cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I
trust the
> > > following details will be sufficient.
> > >
> > > I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was
> > > working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I
> > > completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which,
> > > when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs.
> > > Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them
> > > in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of
the
> > > building at the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I
went up
> > > to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it.
> > > Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure
a slow
> > > descent of the bricks.
> > > You will note in block _11 of the accident report form that my
> > > Weight is 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the
ground
> > > so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the
> > > rope.
> > >
> > > Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the
> > > building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel
which
> > > was now > > proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed.
> > > This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken
> > > collarbone, as listed in Section 3 of the accident report form.
> > > Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping
> > > until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the
> > > pulley.
> > >
> > > Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was
> > > able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain
I
> > > was now beginning to experience.
> > >
> > > At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit
> > > the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of
> > > the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs.
> > > I refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine, I began a
> > > Rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of
> > > the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.
> > >
> > > This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe
> > > lacerations of my legs and lower body.
> > >
> > > Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the
> > > barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell
> > > into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were
> > > cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile
> > > of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and
> > > presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching
the
> > > empty barrel begin its journey back onto me.
> > >
> > > This explains the two broken legs.
> > >
> > > Yours Faithfully,
> > >
> > > Clive R Gould
>
> >
> >
>
>
> **********************************************************************
>
>
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