Re: Fwd: [iris-talk] OT-Humor: Non-Iris related, "Let It Snow, Let It Snow!"

From: Bill Shear <BILLS@hsc.edu>

>From: Bill Shear <BILLS@hsc.edu>
>
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>>In a message dated 12/6/98 11:18:28 AM Eastern Standard Time,
>>glsimmon@swbell.net writes:
>>
>><< Guess >>
>>
>>
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>>Message-ID: <366AAE0D.C1947301@swbell.net>
>>Date: Sun, 06 Dec 1998 10:17:18 -0600
>>From: Glenn Simmons <glsimmon@swbell.net>
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>>Subject: [iris-talk] OT-Humor: Non-Iris related, "Let It Snow, Let It Snow!"
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>>From: Glenn Simmons <glsimmon@swbell.net>
>>
>>Here is another one my cousin has sent me that I thought worth sharing.
>>Cousin
>>got real busy a couple of days ago, she sent me 8 in one day!  :)
>>
>>
>>
>>> THIS IS A LONG ONE, BUT IT IS WORTH IT!!!!
>>>
>>>   ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>>
>>> >
>>> >  Diary of a Snow Shoveler
>>> >
>>> >  December 6: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season
>>> >  and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window
>>> >  watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.  It looked  like a
>>> >  Grandma Moses Print.  So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love
>>> >  snow!
>>> >
>>> >  December 7: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
>>> >  covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there
>>> >  be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea
>>> > I've
>>> >  ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and  felt like a boy
>>> > again.
>>> >  I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This  afternoon the snowplow
>>> >  came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I
>>> > got
>>> >  to shovel again.  What a perfect life.
>>> >
>>> >  December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
>>> > disappointment.
>>> >  My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white
>>> > Christmas.
>>> > No
>>> >  snow on Christmas would be awful!  Bob says we'll have so much snow by
>>> > the
>>> >  end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again.  l don't think
>>> > that's
>>> >  possible.  Bob is such a nice man. I'm glad he's our neighbor.
>>> >
>>> >  December 14: Snow lovely snow!  8" last night. The temperature dropped
>>> > to -20.  The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath
>>> > away,
>>> >  but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the
>>> > life!
>>> >  The snowplow came back and covered everything up again.  I didn't
>>> >  realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly
>>> > get
>>> >  back in shape this way.
>>> >
>>> >  December 15: 20 inches forecast.  Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.
>>> >  Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the
>>> >  freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I
>>> > think
>>> >  that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
>>> >
>>> >  December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the
>>> >  driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an
>>>hour,
>>> > which I
>>> >  think was very cruel.
>>> >
>>> >  December 17: Still way below freezing.  Roads are too icy to go
>>> >  anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on
>>> > to
>>> > stay
>>> >  warm.  Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
>>> > Guess
>>> > I
>>> >  should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. I hate it when
>>> > she's
>>> >  right.  I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
>>> >
>>> >  December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn
>>> >  stuff last night.  More shoveling. Took all day.  Damn snowplow came by
>>> >  twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too
>>> >  busy playing hockey.  I think they're lying.  Called the only hardware
>>> > store
>>> >  around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out.  Might have
>>> > another
>>> >  shipment in March.  I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or
>>> > the
>>> > city
>>> >  will have it done and bill me.  I think  he's lying.
>>> >
>>> >  December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
>>> >  inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't
>>> > melt
>>> > till
>>> >  August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and
>>> > then I had to urinate. By the time I got undressed, urinated and dressed
>>> > again. I was too tired to shovel.  Tried to hire Bob who has a plow
>>>on his
>>> > truck for the rest of the
>>> > winter; but he says he's too busy.  I think the asshole is lying.
>>> >
>>> >  December 23: Only 2" of snow today.  And it warmed up to 0. The wife
>>> > wanted
>>> > me to decorate the front of the house this morning.  What is she nuts!!!
>>> > Why
>>> > didn't she  tell me to do that a month ago?  She says she did but I think
>>> > she's lying.
>>> >
>>> >  December 24: 6".  Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel.
>>> >  Thought I  was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son  of a
>>>bitch
>>> > who
>>> >  drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his %#^&&!. I
>>> > know he
>>> > hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he
>>> > comes
>>> > down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where
>>>I've
>>> > just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her
>>> > and
>>> > open our presents, but I was busy watching for the damn snowplow.
>>> >
>>> > December 25: Merry Christmas.  20 more inches of the !@#@!$#@!@# slop
>>> > tonight.
>>> >  Snowed in.  The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow!
>>> > Then
>>> > the
>>> >  snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I  hit him over the
>>> > head
>>> > with my
>>> >  shovel.  The wife says I have a bad attitude.  I think she's an
>>>idiot. If
>>> > I
>>> > have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill
>>> > her.
>>> >
>>> >  December 26: Still snowed in.  Why the hell did I ever move here? It was
>>> > all
>>> > HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
>>> >
>>> >  December 27:  Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.
>>> >
>>> >  December 28: Warmed up to above -20.  Still snowed in.  She is
>>>driving me
>>> > crazy!!!!!
>>> >
>>> >  December 29: 10 more inches.  Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it
>>> > could
>>> > cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard.  How dumb does he
>>>think I
>>> > am?
>>> >
>>> >  December 30: Roof caved in.  The snow plow driver is suing me for a
>>> > million
>>> > dollars.
>>> >  The wife went home to her mother.  9 inches predicted.
>>> >
>>> >  December 31:  Set fire to what's left of the house.  No more shoveling.
>>> >
>>> >  January 8: I feel so good.  I just love those little white pills they
>>> > keep
>>> > giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
>>> >
>>
>>Merry Christmas, Glenn
>>
>>--
>>Glenn & Linda Simmons
>>Springfield, Southwest Missouri, USDA Zone 6
>>g*@swbell.net
>>
>>
>>
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>
>
>
>
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>From: Bill Shear <BILLS@hsc.edu>
>
>>Content-ID: <0_913140336@inet_out.mail.aol.com.1>
>>Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII
>>
>>In a message dated 12/6/98 11:18:28 AM Eastern Standard Time,
>>glsimmon@swbell.net writes:
>>
>><< Guess >>
>>
>>
>>Return-Path: <bounce-iris-talk--5115-gardenhous=aol.com@onelist.com>
>>Received: from  relay07.mx.aol.com (relay07.mail.aol.com [172.31.109.7]) by
>>	air16.mail.aol.com (v53.20) with SMTP; Sun, 06 Dec 1998 11:18:28
>>	-0500
>>Received: from onelist.com (pop.onelist.com [209.207.164.159])
>>	  by relay07.mx.aol.com (8.8.8/8.8.5/AOL-4.0.0)
>>	  with SMTP id LAA04843 for <gardenhous@aol.com>;
>>	  Sun, 6 Dec 1998 11:18:28 -0500 (EST)
>>Received: (qmail 27070 invoked by alias); 6 Dec 1998 16:25:39 -0000
>>Received: (qmail 26954 invoked from network); 6 Dec 1998 16:25:33 -0000
>>Received: from unknown (HELO mail-gw3adm.rcsntx.swbell.net) (151.164.60.103)
>>	by pop.onelist.com with SMTP; 6 Dec 1998 16:25:33 -0000
>>Received: from swbell.net (slip-32-100-176-153.mo.us.ibm.net
>>[32.100.176.153])
>>	by mail-gw3adm.rcsntx.swbell.net (8.8.5/8.8.5) with ESMTP id KAA04598
>>	for <iris-talk@onelist.com>; Sun, 6 Dec 1998 10:18:11 -0600 (CST)
>>Message-ID: <366AAE0D.C1947301@swbell.net>
>>Date: Sun, 06 Dec 1998 10:17:18 -0600
>>From: Glenn Simmons <glsimmon@swbell.net>
>>X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.5 [en] (Win95; U)
>>X-Accept-Language: en
>>To: Iris Talk <iris-talk@onelist.com>
>>References: <49ecea7a.3668a253@aol.com>
>>Mailing-List: list iris-talk@onelist.com; contact iris-talk-owner@onelist.com
>>Delivered-To: mailing list iris-talk@onelist.com
>>Precedence: bulk
>>List-Unsubscribe: <i*@ONElist.com>
>>Reply-to: iris-talk@onelist.com
>>Subject: [iris-talk] OT-Humor: Non-Iris related, "Let It Snow, Let It Snow!"
>>Mime-Version: 1.0
>>Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII
>>Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit
>>
>>From: Glenn Simmons <glsimmon@swbell.net>
>>
>>Here is another one my cousin has sent me that I thought worth sharing.
>>Cousin
>>got real busy a couple of days ago, she sent me 8 in one day!  :)
>>
>>
>>
>>> THIS IS A LONG ONE, BUT IT IS WORTH IT!!!!
>>>
>>>   ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>>
>>> >
>>> >  Diary of a Snow Shoveler
>>> >
>>> >  December 6: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season
>>> >  and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window
>>> >  watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.  It looked  like a
>>> >  Grandma Moses Print.  So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love
>>> >  snow!
>>> >
>>> >  December 7: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
>>> >  covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there
>>> >  be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea
>>> > I've
>>> >  ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and  felt like a boy
>>> > again.
>>> >  I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This  afternoon the snowplow
>>> >  came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I
>>> > got
>>> >  to shovel again.  What a perfect life.
>>> >
>>> >  December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
>>> > disappointment.
>>> >  My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white
>>> > Christmas.
>>> > No
>>> >  snow on Christmas would be awful!  Bob says we'll have so much snow by
>>> > the
>>> >  end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again.  l don't think
>>> > that's
>>> >  possible.  Bob is such a nice man. I'm glad he's our neighbor.
>>> >
>>> >  December 14: Snow lovely snow!  8" last night. The temperature dropped
>>> > to -20.  The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath
>>> > away,
>>> >  but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the
>>> > life!
>>> >  The snowplow came back and covered everything up again.  I didn't
>>> >  realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly
>>> > get
>>> >  back in shape this way.
>>> >
>>> >  December 15: 20 inches forecast.  Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.
>>> >  Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the
>>> >  freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I
>>> > think
>>> >  that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
>>> >
>>> >  December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the
>>> >  driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an
>>>hour,
>>> > which I
>>> >  think was very cruel.
>>> >
>>> >  December 17: Still way below freezing.  Roads are too icy to go
>>> >  anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on
>>> > to
>>> > stay
>>> >  warm.  Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
>>> > Guess
>>> > I
>>> >  should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. I hate it when
>>> > she's
>>> >  right.  I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
>>> >
>>> >  December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn
>>> >  stuff last night.  More shoveling. Took all day.  Damn snowplow came by
>>> >  twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too
>>> >  busy playing hockey.  I think they're lying.  Called the only hardware
>>> > store
>>> >  around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out.  Might have
>>> > another
>>> >  shipment in March.  I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or
>>> > the
>>> > city
>>> >  will have it done and bill me.  I think  he's lying.
>>> >
>>> >  December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
>>> >  inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't
>>> > melt
>>> > till
>>> >  August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and
>>> > then I had to urinate. By the time I got undressed, urinated and dressed
>>> > again. I was too tired to shovel.  Tried to hire Bob who has a plow
>>>on his
>>> > truck for the rest of the
>>> > winter; but he says he's too busy.  I think the asshole is lying.
>>> >
>>> >  December 23: Only 2" of snow today.  And it warmed up to 0. The wife
>>> > wanted
>>> > me to decorate the front of the house this morning.  What is she nuts!!!
>>> > Why
>>> > didn't she  tell me to do that a month ago?  She says she did but I think
>>> > she's lying.
>>> >
>>> >  December 24: 6".  Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel.
>>> >  Thought I  was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son  of a
>>>bitch
>>> > who
>>> >  drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his %#^&&!. I
>>> > know he
>>> > hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he
>>> > comes
>>> > down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where
>>>I've
>>> > just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her
>>> > and
>>> > open our presents, but I was busy watching for the damn snowplow.
>>> >
>>> > December 25: Merry Christmas.  20 more inches of the !@#@!$#@!@# slop
>>> > tonight.
>>> >  Snowed in.  The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow!
>>> > Then
>>> > the
>>> >  snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I  hit him over the
>>> > head
>>> > with my
>>> >  shovel.  The wife says I have a bad attitude.  I think she's an
>>>idiot. If
>>> > I
>>> > have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill
>>> > her.
>>> >
>>> >  December 26: Still snowed in.  Why the hell did I ever move here? It was
>>> > all
>>> > HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
>>> >
>>> >  December 27:  Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.
>>> >
>>> >  December 28: Warmed up to above -20.  Still snowed in.  She is
>>>driving me
>>> > crazy!!!!!
>>> >
>>> >  December 29: 10 more inches.  Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it
>>> > could
>>> > cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard.  How dumb does he
>>>think I
>>> > am?
>>> >
>>> >  December 30: Roof caved in.  The snow plow driver is suing me for a
>>> > million
>>> > dollars.
>>> >  The wife went home to her mother.  9 inches predicted.
>>> >
>>> >  December 31:  Set fire to what's left of the house.  No more shoveling.
>>> >
>>> >  January 8: I feel so good.  I just love those little white pills they
>>> > keep
>>> > giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
>>> >
>>
>>Merry Christmas, Glenn
>>
>>--
>>Glenn & Linda Simmons
>>Springfield, Southwest Missouri, USDA Zone 6
>>g*@swbell.net
>>
>>
>>
>>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>To unsubscribe from this mailing list, or to change your subscription
>>to digest, go to the ONElist web site, at http://www.onelist.com and
>>select the User Center link from the menu bar on the left.
>
>
>
>
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Bill Shear
Department of Biology
Hampden-Sydney College
Hampden-Sydney VA 23943
(804)223-6172
FAX (804)223-6374
email<bills@hsc.edu>




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