Bovine auto-eroticism and deer repellants
> > > Coyotes are in cages that have a drain in the floor. Drain leads to
> >> container, where urine is captured. What I don't know is how they
gather
> >> bull semen for artificial insemination of cows. Margaret L
> >
> >Oh, trust me, you don't want to know.
>
> Don't know what the fuss is all about. They used to use what
> amounted to a "faux female" and let the bull do what bulls do.
>
> Now pigs are a different story!
There's more than one way to milk a cow and/or bull. I don't remember where
I saw this, but one of the educational channels (TLC, Discovery, or maybe
the History Channel) had a special on Jobs You Didn't Know Existed (and
would've preferred it had stayed that way). There's a huge industry
involved in semen collection, and different methods are used for different
animals, depending on temperament and value of the animal in question. The
"faux female" Bessie was hauled out into a field and put through it's
paces - HOWEVER - in cases involving certain bulls, there was a woman who
actually specializes in GETTING INSIDE the "faux female" and assisting in
the collection of, well, you know. It only got worse from there. For bulls
that were "unproven" (read: virgins) and not likely to mount a Blowup Bessie
without excessive trouble or risk (these animals are worth thousands of
dollars), there's a very clinical, thoroughly un-romantic approach that
involves a very narrow corral and an electric probe inserted into the
animals posterior. I'm sure you get the idea without me getting overly
graphic. In summary: ouch!
Anyway, to get this back on topic somewhat, I'd like to address the subject
of ravaging deer again. I live in Wyoming County, Western New York. This
is a truly rural area, and there's nothing but cattle farms and wilderness
between any given point 'a' and point 'b'. Being a city boy (New Orleans,
DC, Seattle, LA) it's been quite an adjustment to finally have all the
gardening space I could possibly desire and to find ways to co-exist with
the ravenous fauna, Bambi in particular. My home was built in 1972 by a
priest who had a degree in horticulture. When I purchased it in 1992, one
of the things that sold me immediately was the landscaping: hundreds of
Colorado Blue Spruces, 50 or 60 white Birches and enormous Arborvitae
hedges. The second year I was here the Bronze Birch Borer arrived and
cheerfully destroyed the Birches. My third year here I spent several days
with a chain saw cutting down all but 6 of the Birch trees, which turned out
to be borer resistant varieties (for now); the rest of the year I spent in
mourning.
Up until then the deer hadn't really posed a problem, and since the
Arborvitae hadn't been touched, I assumed they weren't to the deer's liking.
I'd had the occasional problem with the rose gardens (at last count I have
150 roses - mostly species, David Austins and Old Garden Roses) and,
needless to say, the vegetable garden, but not enough to get a gun or invest
in a fence of some kind. Until this year. For whatever reason the
bastar....uh...beautiful woodland creatures decided to attack the hedges
with a vengeance. The damage has been unbelievable and it makes me sick to
even think about it, much less pass it several times a day. And after what
happened to the Birches, I'm not taking any more damage lightly. I got out
my trusty little 'Critter Gitter' and rotated it around the property, yet
herds of deer continued to use the landscaping as their buffet. Sometime
around Christmas I became semi-hysterical and went searching every garden
department of every store within a 50 mile radius for any brand of deer
repellent. Since everything garden related was moved to make way for
Christmas ornaments (box after box of those ubiquitous icicle lights!!!
Ack!!! And wire-frame deer lawn ornaments!!!) I couldn't find a thing even
remotely related to gardening, much less something as specific as deer
repellent. So, I went home and researched homemade recipes and threw one
together. In my frenzy I was uncertain which to use, so I simply mixed
together The Mother of all homemade deer repellents. Putting on snow gear,
I trudged through 3 foot snow drifts, 16F degree, snowing weather and
sprayed the entire perimeter of my property (6.4 acres) with this
concoction.
Quite frankly, I think I'm fortunate to be alive, and I'm still amazed that
gardening has driven me to such extreme physical and mental overdrive.
However, the herds of rampaging beasts have not set hoof on my property
since I sprayed that voodoo brew. I don't really know why it worked, but
all I know is that so far, the deer are steering a wide path around me. I
realize that the hordes could return at any time, but I do feel all is not
totally lost. This Summer I might finally get around to installing an
electric fence. Or perhaps next Autumn, during rutting season, I'll dress
up a barrel like a fetching Bambina and give Bambino an electric surprise
he'll never forget.
So, if anyone wants to know what the formula was, here it is: break 8 eggs
into a blender, add an oil based sticker-spreader (vegetable oil or Safers),
add water halfway up, blend, and here's the fun part, about an ounce of high
quality clove oil (or more - I just kept dumping until my eyes watered).
Blend well, add more water, then add a drop or two of dishwashing detergent.
Blend until it looks frighteningly foamy. Sieve into a five gallon sprayer
and spray recklessly on anything not moving. I concentrated on tree trunks
and such since evergreens can be damaged by ANY spray when it's below 40F,
but so far everything looks fine. I will admit that I did respray last
month, but changed the formula a bit, using camphor oil instead of clove.
Whatever - it seems to work. Next month it's my beloved grandmother's
heirloom gallon of 'Evening in Paris'.
Sorry this was so long, but I sincerely hope it helps someone with a similar
problem.
Keith, WNY, zone 5
---------------------------------------------------------------------
To sign-off this list, send email to majordomo@mallorn.com with the
message text UNSUBSCRIBE PERENNIALS
